November 4, 2010 

I hate shopping.

I know that may come as a shock to some people, but it's true. And let me be specific – I hate clothes shopping. Don't get me wrong, I love to get new clothes, shoes and accessories but I don't like the work that goes with it. If I'm in the mall for more than an hour, I will be in desperate need of lunch, a snack or coffee break (Auntie Ann's or Starbucks, anyone?). Actually, seeing a movie in the middle of shopping is a nice break also.

If I could have a personal shopper who purchased things based on my size and preferences, that would be good a situation for me. Then I could try things on in the comfort of my own home, see if they go with other things I have and, most importantly, return or exchange any rejects. Unfortunately, I don't have a personal shopper (or even a personal assistant who could ship back all of my ill-advised online purchases). The closest thing I have is my friend Teresa, who I show purchases to and get a thumbs up or down before I cut the tags. But for now, I still piece together my wardrobe the old-fashioned way – schlepping through the mall and trying not to cry. My top 5 frustrations, in no particular order:

• Bad lighting – Do I really have that much cellulite? (I know I do, but I like to live in cottage cheese denial)

• Trying on jeans – This was bad enough until they invented "skinny jeans." Not that I've ever tried any on, but I have a deep fear a pair may accidentally get in the dressing room.

• Trying on bathing suits – I always, always take a sarong with me to the dressing room, because even I don't want to see my thighs.

• Long lines – after I've finally found something that fits, that I love and absolutely can't live without, there's a line 15 people long to buy it. OMG!

• Kids – mainly children throwing temper tantrums in a store, but also screaming (actually shrieking) kids at the play area of the mall can get on my already-frazzled nerves.

And, to be fair, shopping isn't always horrible. Sometimes, on that rare occasion, I will happen upon the most gorgeous pair of shoes. It feels like the heavens part and a light shines down on them...Ahhhhh. When they have them in my size and they fit, I'm filled with endorphins and I momentarily forget how much I hate shopping. At that moment, all is right in the world.

Because I have new shoes.

Belleville News-Democrat is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere in the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

Commenting FAQs | Terms of Service