January 3, 2011 

I am no Suzy Home-maker.

So why did I volunteer to host Christmas dinner at my house? I definitely had a momentary lapse in judgment. Or a small aneurism. Either way, after my parents agreed the Mason family would gather at my house, there was no turning back.

Let me be clear. I'm good at a lot of things. Decorating, organizing, even gift-wrapping. But I spend precious little time in the kitchen. So the thought of making Christmas dinner had me stressed out, to say the least. When I offered to host last year, I had planned to cater in the whole meal. Of course, my parents didn't take me up on it last year.

This year, I have a wonderful new man in my life, John, who also happens to be a great cook. So I figured we could make dinner together (and by together, I mean mostly John). But the shopping was all me. And I spent a hour and a half at Schnucks. That's mainly because I had to buy everything as my fridge houses only bottled water and condiments (and of course Vodka in the freezer - I can make martinis!).

John said he would make a turtle cake that is so easy. Really? There were nine ingredients. For a cake! The first ingredient is "1 box chocolate cake mix (eggs and oil needed). Let's forget for a moment that I needed to get eggs and oil, which are not staples in my house, and focus on the "chocolate cake mix." There are 10 different types. John clarifies by texting "Devil's Food." Okay, well, how was I supposed to know "chocolate cake = devil's food?" Seriously. And then, the package of caramels was not in the baking aisle (Schnucks - a little help please?!). So I text John, who is at work and really doesn't have time for this, "If I were a package of caramels, where would I be?" He responds, "Candy aisle." Okay, that does make sense.

So, I had all of the food (including a 10-pound bag of potatoes for 7 people!) and Christmas Eve arrives. I'm peeling potatoes and John is frying bacon for the Mungo's Salad (another 9 ingredient menu item! Are scallions the same as green onions? Yes, they are!) and I'm stressed because I'm way out of my comfort zone. John said cooking is supposed to be fun (which stressed me out even more) but he was great and my parents arrived early and helped too so the meal came out just fine in the end. My brother and two nieces joined us for dinner, unwrapping presents and making snow angels. It was a beautiful, white Christmas.

And no one was poisoned. God Bless Us, Every One!

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