It is time for another appearance by Mr. Abstrusity, my answer man alter ego.

Actually it is long past time. Mr. Abstrusity last appeared in September 2000. Abstrusity means something difficult or hard to explain, so maybe it is too hard for him to explain what happened to him.

I'm not sure where he has been. Let's ask him.

Dear Mr. Abstrusity,

Where have you been, dude?

-- Curious

Dear Curious,

It's a long story. First I was stuck behind some construction on 17th Street. Then I finally got moving but I wandered off the street and got stuck in some muck along some vacant land along the way.

Before that I had gone downtown for something to eat. I fell into a vacant lot at the corner of Jackson and East Main streets and someone fenced me in before I could climb out. I heard people calling it Jackson Hole, Belleville but I didn't see anyone skiing there.

Maybe I should change my name to Mr. Adversity and run for public office.

Dear Mr. Abstrusity,

What does it mean when a politician says poll numbers don't really mean anything and then changes the subject?

-- Very Curious

Dear Very,

It means one of two things. Either the poll wasn't commissioned by the politician's side or it means the politician is losing in that particular poll.

Otherwise polls are very meaningful, particularly to the politician who claims to be winning.

But let's change the subject. Talking about politics makes me want to change my name to Mr. Absurdity.

Dear Mr. Abstrusity,

If a train leaves St. Louis at 8 a.m., traveling at 49 mph and another train leaves Chicago at the same time traveling at 62 mph, where will they meet?

-- Irritating Math Man

Dear Irritating,

It's a trick question. They won't meet, they will be on separate tracks. Thank heavens I am old enough I don't have to do math anymore.

That's it from the wise-acre version of the answer man. So long until next time, that is if I can keep from getting trapped in one of Belleville's innumerable downtown festivals.

Have a column idea? Call Wally Spiers at 239-2506 or 800-642-3878; or email wspiers@bnd.com.