Upon making funeral arrangements, families sometimes select a charity or organization to receive financial contributions given in memory of their deceased. It is a wonderful gesture which helps so many every day.

So why does the phrase "in lieu of flowers" so often precede it?

Families say "funeral directors suggest it." Funeral directors say "families request it." Newspapers say "they only are printing what's sent to them." Florists say "how is it possible for that to be said every day in a public newspaper which they advertise in?"

It really does not matter who's responsible. It only matters that it is discontinued.

The time has come for newspapers to use non-discriminatory obituary guidelines and refuse to print that phrase.

The Belleville News-Democrat, being the premiere publication for our area, should take the initiative to immediately do so -- not because it's easy, but because it's the right thing to do.

Suggested alternative phrases are: "as an expression of sympathy, memorial contributions may be sent to..." or " the family suggests contributions to...."

Using either of these phrases does not exclude flowers or food and still they:

* Honor the family's request for a charity.

* Meets the standards of good taste and decorum for funeral directors.

* Does not dictate to others the manner in which they are allowed to express their deepest feelings.

Let's work together so that all businesses thrive . Eliminate "in lieu of" anything.

Kris Wittenauer

Waterloo