Parenting: No reason to have the holiday blues

Published: November 19, 2012 

I read quite a few "mommy blogs" to try to keep up with hot-button mom issues.

Turns out, I worry about many of the same things other moms worry about: bullying, technology, health, education, etc. And there is a whole list of things moms worry about that just aren't on my radar.

Blog posts about the upcoming holidays all have the same general flavor: women who are absolutely dreading the upcoming holiday season. It makes me wonder why they even bother to celebrate this time of year if doing so makes them so miserable. Is it to maintain that perfect mom/wonderful wife image?

I don't know, but it's kind of sad to me that instead of being happy this time of year, there are so many who thrive on letting everyone else know how unhappy they are that it's already Thanksgiving and very nearly Christmas.

Now, the hot topic is Thanksgiving. You wouldn't believe the number of wives (and girlfriends) who resent being forced to spend time with much disliked in-laws and dealing with ill-behaved children. One post I read was titled "Tips to Survive Your Hellish Family This Thanksgiving."

Seriously? If they are that hellish, the answer isn't a blog post about tips to survive. It's making the decision to not put yourself or your own family in that "hellish" situation. Problem solved, holiday saved. Make your own holiday traditions instead of letting someone else's make you miserable.

The whining and moaning and crying about how much work the holidays are make me shake my head and I think: What has made these women's lives so utterly miserable that they can't just enjoy the holidays? Why can't they just appreciate the family and the children they have and be glad of it?

I'll admit I don't get exceedingly excited about the holidays. I never really have. But it's not because of family. It's because of over-commercialization. Thanksgiving must be just so or it's not quite good enough, and Christmas is often depicted in commercials as some fairy-tale event that is never quite achievable, unless you're Martha Stewart or a millionaire.

I love my in-laws and love spending time with them. Sure, there are idiosyncracies, but that's what makes them who they are and in no way affects the enjoyment I have when I get to spend the holidays with them. Sure, there are always going to be some children behaving badly (mine included from time to time), but, as the saying goes, "it takes a village." Or, in this case, it takes a family.

I have no qualms about telling a badly behaving child to stop it and take care of the issue right then and there. Too many parents are afraid to say anything and instead comment about how awful a kid is behaving while watching the behavior continue.

The holidays are only as difficult as you make them. If you don't want to spend all of Thanksgiving Day slaving in the kitchen, don't. Make it a potluck or pick a restaurant and go. So simple! If you host Thanksgiving dinner year after year and hate doing it but don't speak up and say "Hey! I hate doing this," you're going to keep doing it, year after year and be more and more unhappy.

Being happy is a decision, and all those moms out there who are blogging about the horrible holidays and already dreading the upcoming season have made a decision to be miserable.

They should really rethink that decision before they start passing along holiday hatred to their children.

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