Never doubt the ingeniousness of the Democrats. OK, ladies, listen up. Forget the gun, you've been advised by Washington's finest politicians on what and how to react if you feel threatened by violence, whether it be an angry attacker or sexual deviant. Just heed the Democrats' words of wisdom.
Grab your ballpoint pen or that pair of scissors in your pocket, that should scare the hell out of whoever's chasing you. If for some reason that doesn't stop them, run and scream. If all that fails, just before you pretend to faint or fake that seizure, ask where you could find a police call box.
Is it any wonder some of these dilettantes are referred to as "Dumbocrats?"