Some strategies for getting a rude woman to move on

September 20, 2013 

Q. When you are with a gentleman and a woman that knows both of you falls all over the man, hugging him, etc., and completely ignores you, what is the best thing to do? I usually stand like the post I'm being treated like and say nothing.

A. Your description provides a clear picture, to me and anyone else who is within eyesight, of an-almost humorous situation, if it were not for the fact this woman is being so blatantly rude. She may think she is being cute and relishes being the center of attention, but it is certainly the wrong kind of attention. If she quickly moves on after this improper display with your gentleman friend, then put the incident quickly behind you.

If, instead, she continues to ignore you and monopolize the conversation with your gentleman friend, you have a couple of options, but first, ask yourself if she is worth getting upset about. Is she the type of person worthy of your attention in the first place? Plus, remind yourself that if you insert yourself into the conversation, it will only provide her the opportunity to spend more time talking to your friend and ignoring you.

Having answered those questions, options for you to consider are:

Trust your gentleman friend to realize what is happening and include you in the conversation or quickly move away from this woman.

Politely and gracefully insert yourself between them and divert her attention to you by telling her how glad you are to see her again.

Look at your watch and politely remind your gentleman friend that you both have to go to meet other friends, etc., and say to the woman, "I'm so sorry, but we have to go. So good to see you again."

Smile at her and pretend you are enjoying her rude antics and hope she quickly moves on.

Whatever you choose to do, do not consider yourself a "post," but instead remind yourself of the polite lady you are.

Q. I have a college girlfriend whose her daughter is flying into town next month. They will be staying with me. The daughter is being recognized with some type of award through her company.

While they are here, I would like to have an afternoon tea and invite some of our mutual college girlfriends who live in this area. I'm including some of their daughters on the invitation list, too, since we haven't all had the opportunity or occasion to get together for many, many years.

Should I have a receiving line at the front door to include my girlfriend and her daughter with me?

Can I have some type of alcoholic beverage since our group used to enjoy having a few drinks whenever we were together celebrating in college?

A. Having a receiving line at your afternoon tea is not considered a "should," but is definitely an option. It provides all of your invited guests the opportunity to gree you and your special guests.

You will probably want to word your invitation: "... invited to an afternoon tea in honor of Jane (Doe) Smith and her daughter, Janice Smith."

You will also want to make certain you have several female helpers to guide guests as necessary from the end of the receiving line to the tea area, and also take turns in serving tea or other beverages, and refill tea items.

Having an alcoholic beverage of some type, whether a choice of wines, or an alcoholic punch, is your choice, and considered proper for an afternoon tea, as long as a non-alcoholic beverage punch or tea, is also available. Be sure to have a card identifying the alcoholic punch.

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