To BND letter writer Michael Ray Dillier: We've hit an iceberg. "OK, keep ahead full speed; remember the Affordable Health Care website is working just great and cancelling insurance is necessary."
To letter writer Gene Robke: We now have a huge hole in the hull and water is gushing in."OK, blame former President Bush. Even though he's been gone for five years, it's still his fault. He lied, thousands died, even though more troops were killed in Afghanistan under President Obama than Bush."
To letter writer Jim Walters: The passengers are nervous, should we start praying? "Heck, no, break out the London Times comic pages, that's more soothing that the Bible -- and have them pray to dog, not God."
To Michael Ray Dillier: The ship is starting to list pretty far to the right and the life boats are full. "Thanks, seaman. Don't worry, everything will be great by Jan. 1 when everyone has health care insurance. What's a little water anyway? It's for the greater good."
To Gene Robke: I can't get the Carpathia to answer our distress calls, I think the radio man is asleep. "OK, blame George Bush, he's responsible for crummy telegraphs and besides, the stock market is at an all-time high and now all of a sudden I'm a capitalist."
To Jim Walters: Dick Cheney just fell overboard. "Great, couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Vote Democrat."