So we pull up to the burger joint drive-through in our sedan, and the window seems kind of high. D'oh! Five in the car, us two fatties both on the driver's side.
New rule in St. Clair County: Distribute evenly the 40 percent of us who, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, are obese -- for safety and to avoid structural compromise.
Or we could trust government to make us leaner (all right, stop that snickering out there).
But seriously, folks. That's the plan. After St. Clair County spent $1.5 million spurring us to exercise, only to see us become the fattest county in Illinois, they now want $8.5 million to continue the effort.
Somehow spending our tax dollars on places to park our bikes is supposed to translate into fitness. Someone thinks that if only government would better educate us about the dangers of obesity, we all would slim down.
Well, we all know we're overweight. We chose to eat the cheese fries and bacon double cheese burger. We chose to circle the parking lot looking for the closest spot to the door.
Another $8.5 million in reminders is unlikely to change anything, except the width of local government.