Q. I married a Junior. I get confused on how I should sign/address cards, invitations, etc., jointly. I know it would be "Mr. & Mrs. Todd Jones Jr." but what if I wanted to use my name as well? Would it be "Mr. & Mrs. Todd and Mary Jones Jr."?
A. To include your name with your husband's, it would be "Mr. Todd and Mrs. Mary Jones, Jr." Be sure to add the comma between Jones and Jr.
When using only your name, it would be "Mrs. Todd Jones, Jr.", or "Mrs. Mary Jones, Jr." the reason you retain the "Jr." along with your first name is to differentiate you from your husband's mother who is "Sr."
Your husband may choose to drop the "Jr." after his father's death, which may be after two years, or he may choose to retain the "Jr." Retaining the "Jr." often makes it less confusing when living in the same area as his parents. Especially if his father was a very prominent individual, to drop the "Jr." could prove to be very confusing.
Should you and your husband have a son and you name him after your husband, he would be called the "3rd" or "III."
Q. I have another couple of pet peeves to add to the list people sent in a couple of weeks ago:
1. People who make a public spectacle of themselves. We were always taught not to be too loud, in speaking or laughing in public. Now it seems a great majority want to be noticed or something and are loud as can be.
2. Spitting, not just on sidewalks, but everywhere. What has happened to using handkerchiefs or tissues? And the ugly sound they make just before spitting. Terrible! Disgusting!
A. Yes, it is very inappropriate to be loud in public and even at home when guests are visiting. It is more proper to be polite, refined, sophisticated and cultured (civilized).
Spitting anywhere is totally unnecessary as well as very disgusting. It's unnecessary because it is not even precipitated by a cough. If it is necessary to remove mucus following a cough, a handkerchief or tissue is a must!
What is even more disdainful about this ugly spitting habit is that national sports figures initiated it, or at least perpetuate it because they serve as role models for our youngsters. I wish they would get the message and stop!
Q. Can I wear black to my girlfriend's new baby's christening? It is an afternoon event at her church and a little get-together after at her house. I have lots of suits but I'd rather not wear a suit all day because I wear suits every day for work.
A. Why black? What a depressing color for such a joyful event. The "little black dress" is not really in vogue this year so this might be a great reason for shopping for a bright summer dress with flowers or even polka dots. Save the black dress for a funeral or evening indoor cocktail party.
Q. If my husband and I go out rather regularly with another couple and we pay separately, can we use a gift card or coupon to help pay for our meal? My husband thinks it would look cheap.
A. A gift card is fine, but I would save the coupon for when just you and your husband are dining out.
Send your etiquette questions to Dianne Isbell, Lifestyle, P.O. Box 427, 120 S. Illinois, Belleville, IL 62222-0427.
