Aaaah, summer vacation. Leave those worries behind in Springfield.
Know that you are in for a well-deserved rest because you worked so darned hard on behalf of your Illinois constituents.
You say you worked to protect the middle class, and your hard work was duly noted by your lenders. The day after you left town, S&P Global honored you with the lowest rating ever given a state — in history — a click above junk bond status.
You say you passed the $15 minimum wage. It will encourage innovation and automation, especially in the fast food industry where touch-screen ordering systems and phone app integration are long overdue.
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You say you wrote so many state checks that there is a $14.5-billion bill backlog. Economic stimulation means you gotta spend money to make money, right?
Well, you worked hard to ensure a healthy job market — in Missouri, Iowa, Wisconsin, Indiana and Kentucky.
As far as that pesky state budget? Well, isn’t that a dated, overrated concept? Anything that isn’t used for two years certainly isn’t a necessity. Colleges, social service agencies, schools have gotten by for two years, so they’ve got it nailed for year three.
If only that obstructionist Republican, Gov. Bruce Rauner, had come to the table. If only he hadn’t made unreasonable demands that we change what we’ve been doing for more than three decades.
Constitutionally mandated obligation to send a balanced budget to the governor’s desk? What? Where does it say that?
If only everyone could see the beauty in the midst of chaos, kind of like when stars reach the point of supernova. The Illinois supernova: a star that shines so bright because it is exploding, then ejects all its mass and millennials — to be followed by a black hole.
Now for some beach reading. Stephen Hawking is too heavy, so maybe “The Wealth of Nations” or “The Prince” or “The Communist Manifesto?” Or maybe “A Confederacy of Dunces?”
Where did those flip-flops go?