Here are some conversations we imagine would happen if only the right neighbors lived next to 3702 Boatman’s Point in Shiloh.
If Jeff Spicoli lived next door: “Whoa, dude. Your grass is, like, so HIGH. You’re a real grower, dude. Let’s party!”
If Peter Tosh were across the street: “Don’t criticize it. Le-gal-ize it!”
If Tommy Chong’s on the cul de sac: “Mark? Mark’s not here!”
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But the reality is that Shiloh Village Trustee Mark Kurtz doesn’t have those folks as neighbors across from his “grow house.” He has the regular kind, the kind who take care of their homes and expect a guy they elected to represent them to be a model citizen, not to be the bad example. You see, Kurtz has a problem with grass — he won’t cut it regularly.
Neighbors took their concerns to the police and village board recently because the problem has been ongrowing.
Kurtz made excuses about no one telling him or reaching out to him offering help, about a broken lawn mower, about only eight days passing and about how nutgrass and watergrass are the real culprits behind 10-inch-high weeds.
Then he spins into conspiracy theories about how this is all political and a distraction to the real issue of the village’s $5.8 million debt.
Wonder what conspiracy is keeping Kurtz from just mowing his lawn every week?
And if Fred Rogers lived nearby: “Don’t you be my neighbor.”