That's what they are. How else could one explain the Cardinals' complete humiliation at the hands of the most dysfunctional team in baseball? You know, the one in bankruptcy court...
Kyle Lohse absolutely stunk. He gave up a hit and a single to the first two batters he faced and a home run to the third. The Cardinals got two on with one out and the heart of the order up in the bottom of the first with a chance to tie the game. But Matt Holliday and Lance Berkman struck out to end the threat. And Lohse returned to the mound to pout his way through a four-run second inning.
It was all over at that point except the statistical carnage.
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When the smoke cleared Lohse gave up eight runs -- all of them earned -- on eight hits and a walk.
Meanwhile, the St. Louis offense -- save for Allen Craig and his two hits -- did nothing the entire evening besides take up space.
The most interesting thing that ever happened was seeing Cardinals outfielder/second baseman pitch in early relief to former St. Louis emergency reliever Aaron Miles. But even that didn't turn out well for the Redbirds with Miles taking skippy over the boards for an insult to injury homer.
For the record, the supposedly competitive Cardinals have now lost consecutive series to the Pirates, Reds and Dodgers.
Cardinals Star of the Game: Craig
Cardinals Play of the Game: The last one.
Lowlight: Innings 1, 2, 3, 5 and 9 for the pitching staff and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 for the offense.