Wednesday, Nov. 04, 2009

'SpongeBob': Truth or Square?

REASON TO WATCH: Culmination of the 10th anniversary 'Bob party, plus lots of special appearances, and -- are you ready, kids? -- a new, stop-motion opener, by Cee-Lo Green of Gnarls Barkley.

WHAT IT'S ABOUT: Well, two things, actually. In the live-action sequence, Patchy the Pirate (Tom Kenny), president of the Encino, Calif.-based SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club, is trying to mount a 10th-anniversary TV extravaganza, without much success. Calls are placed to Rosario Dawson, but she's put off by onion breath; LeBron James (he's got a game to play); Tina Fey (whom he confuses with Tina Turner); and Will Ferrell (doing his own special, for the Tarzana chapter). Triumph the Comic Insult Dog is also reached: "Ohhh, 'president.' Your mother must be so proud."

Via a semi-elaborate ruse, Patchy also kidnaps a "Craig Ferguson" guest, Robin Williams. Again, no luck. In fact, the only sucker who agrees to appear is Pink -- who plans to sing a catchy new tune, "Scurvy."

On the cartoon portion, the Krusty Krab is celebrating the "eleventy-seventh" anniversary of its opening. But Mr. Krabs, Patrick, Squidward and SpongeBob get lost in the restaurant's elaborate air-duct system, giving bad-guy Plankton a long-awaited opening.

BOTTOM LINE: Rarely a day seems to pass in our lives -- OK, my life -- without the skull-splitting yet paradoxically endearing squeal of SpongeBob's laugh. He is the Franchise, and simply the most important cartoon character of the modern era. But the brutal truth is that 'Bob works best in small doses. A 44-minute full-course meal is like downing 100 Krabby Patties in one sitting. Kids won't mind, of course, but you may. At least, you'll enjoy Kenny, who also voices 'Bob. He's a cartoon legend and modern-day Mel Blanc or Daws Butler -- though his piratical skills are dubious.