Hello, five pounds. What took you so long?
I saw you coming a few million calories ago. Before I hung up those Russell Stover-stuffed stockings for my family. Before my friend Sandy gave me those delicious fresh-baked Christmas cookies. Before I stepped on the scale this morning and screamed.
Yes, I am the woman who goes to bed with candy on Halloween and unapologetically eats her way through Thanksgiving and Christmas.
This is why I keep two sizes of clothing in my closet. Yesterday I donned stretch pants. Today the failed diet begins.
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Though some might call it a New Year’s resolution, I prefer to call it a New Year’s tradition.
This is how it will go: By 10 a.m., I’ll be starving. By noon, I’ll break down and have a peanut butter sandwich. By 5 p.m., I’ll say, “To hell with this diet stuff!” and put off losing weight till sometime next month.
And you know what? I won’t beat myself up when I fail. Rules are made to broken and resolutions are made to bust.
Case in point: The parking lot of my beloved YMCA will be packed tomorrow morning. Come mid-February – when I start Diet No. 2 – the resolutionists will be gone and I won’t have to arrive at spin class a half-hour early to get a bike.
Not that I have anything against the resolutionists. Heck, I welcome them with open arms. I just hope they don’t throw in the towel for good when their plans to exercise fizzle the first time around.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Without the pressure.
And so, my New Year’s wish for you is that you be kinder to yourself. It’s good to have goals. It’s great to be self-aware. But please don’t beat yourself up because it’s Jan. 1 and you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see.
Start that self-improvement program just for practice. Next month when things quiet down? Now that’s the time to try it again. I suggest shooting for the day after Valentine’s Day so The Sacred Chocolate Holiday can be observed.
Till then, stay safe, stay warm and stay true to yourself. There is only one you, and you are a fabulous person. Sure you could be better. But couldn’t we all?
And we will be come February 15th.