Metro-East Living

'It isn’t your fault that nothing bad happened to you today'

Every day it gets harder and harder to be happy.

Headlines scream of another mass school shooting and I am forced to look at lovely young children who will never reach their potential while families grieve.

How do you handle the guilt that comes but shouldn’t? It isn’t your fault that nothing bad happened to you today. Yet, you can’t help but share the anguish of all those who suffer.

All you can do is consider the small pleasures in your life. So I will. The weather turned warmer. The snow melted. The sun shone, at least for a while.

It might seem sophomoric, but I got a big kick out of running my car through a car wash. Those big brushes and water sprays always make me smile.

I watched my automatic vacuum rumble across the floor. It almost seems alive as it bumps into obstacles, backs up, tries again, hits something else, backs up again and gamely rolls on. At least until it runs up onto a lamp base or an extension cord.

I bought one of those big chocolate chip cookies for Valentine’s Day thinking I had picked up a bargain on one that was marked down. But when I got home I realized I had taken one at the full price.

I celebrated, even as I cleaned up cat vomit, because it was barely digested and firm and it had been almost two days since anyone had thrown up on anything.

No one called to offer me a free vacation, a better deal on my credit card or to threaten me with jail for not paying my taxes.

Everyone who was supposed to auto deposit a check for me did and there was no mail in my box so no bills or junk mail reached me either.

I watched a bunch of people win gold medals at the Winter Olympics. Sure, there were a lot more losers but heck, even they got free trips to South Korea and the chance to participate.

I was able to watch my favorite shows on streaming services. People sent me funny videos with animals doing cute things. I had my favorite breakfast sandwich. I solved the New York Times crossword puzzle as well as several different kinds of solitaire games.

I read part of a good book. I read some good news stories on the Internet. Two people who each got a new heart met during their procedures, fell in love and married.

It was a reminder that good can come out of bad because two people had to die to provide those hearts but they will keep beating.

Sadly, and happily, life goes on.