Dateline Jan. 20, 2017: President Donald Trump evicted an unemployed black family from their palatial home today. Sounds of screaming and cursing were heard coming from inside Barackingham Palace. MSLSD reported that the Trumps stood by the front gate, laughing and jeering loudly, as the poor family dragged their meager belongings to the curb.
The family proclaimed that they would have the Justice Brothers, oops, I mean the Justice Department, investigate, charging white privilege and racial profiling. Video of claw marks on the floor inside the palace and onto the sidewalk revealed a desperate effort on their part to remain in the mansion. Chris Matthews (who is still suffering a constant tingle in his leg after eight years) was apoplectic over their treatment. He called for a Congressional investigation, saying it was the worst case of racism and bullying he had every witnessed.
Miley Cyrus threw herself in front of the moving van, weeping and sobbing uncontrollably, in a desperate attempt to stop this dastardly, illegal action.
Joe Biden was seen wandering around aimlessly on the Naval observatory grounds, muttering something about looking for the “Kirwood Derby.”
Cher, Mark Ruffalo and a multitude of Hollyweird elites formed a gauntlet outside the White House chanting “four more years,” as they awaited their luxury SUVs to take them to the airport, for transport to other countries. Meanwhile, Barack Obama announced that he was headed back to Hawaii, declaring he was going to put the “Choom gang” back together. Film at eleven.
Roddy D. Riggs, Highland