Hi, my name is Rex Tillerson. I own $240 million in Exxon-Mobile stock. Everyone is demanding I divest my stake in this company in order to serve as Secretary of State under President Trump.
I’m John Kerry. My wife, Teresa Heinz, is the heiress to the Heinz ketchup fortune. She is worth between $750 million and $1.2 billion. I also married another billionaire heiress prior to her. No one batted an eye when I was elected as a U.S. Senator, or when I became Secretary of State under Barack Obama for that matter. After all, it’s just ketchup money.
My name is Mitt Romney. I am worth over $250 million. Everyone called me a rich, white guy, out of touch with the American people, and unfit to serve as president of the U.S., even though I gave away my inheritance and earned every dime I have, on my own.
Hi, we’re the Clintons. We have a net worth of between $100 million to $200 million. We have done absolutely nothing to earn this except to be political hacks our whole lives and run the Klinton Krime Klan foundation. Ain’t America great?
Roddy D. Riggs, Highland