Letters to the Editor

New country

The latest bombshell form East St. Louis: East St. Louis announced today it formally secedes from the Unites States, making it the smallest third world county in the world. Crowds cheered as Papa Doc Duvalier Parks was installed as the country’s first president.

Papa Doc Duvalier Parks promised huge amounts of aid from America would allow for expansion of the gaming businesses in the new country. Bars and liquor stores will be allowed to operate 24-7. Strip clubs will operate around the clock and prostitution, long thought to have been going on at these clubs, can now operate in the open.

Chief Justice John Baricevic will head up the high tribunal along with six prominent Democratic judges and attorneys. Baricevic was chosen because of his excellent record as the head of the East St. Louis Election Board.

No toll fee is planed if you’re going through the new country and stop once to buy some drugs or partake in one of the many venues that will be offered. However, you will be paying a minimum $20 toll each way if you don’t plan to stop.

Plans to invade Washington Park and annex this territory are on hold at this time. Please follow for further developments here.

William H. Bremen Sr.