Cheap Seats

Do yourself a favor, Rangers rooters. Don't listen to Cubs fans

After putting up with all the hotdog bull that surrounds the Milwaukee Brewers and the overly-entitled and obnoxious Philadelphia fans, I was looking forward to a hard-fought yet classy World Series between two very talented teams that have virtually no history with each other.

But leave it to a loser Cubs fan transplanted to Dallas to try to stir the pot in a fit of embitterment and somehow interject his loser team into a Fall Classic that has been blissfully free of the Wee Bears since 1945. Instead of a classy and respectful old fashioned championship series, he'd like to turn it into a venomous grudge match. 

Someone named Jason Heid wrote an attack piece for something called D Magazine called "Top Five Reasons For Texas Rangers Fans to Hate, Hate, Hate the St. Louis Cardinals." And it's a perfect example of why Cubs fans are an insufferable bunch of losers.

Heid starts out with an introduction that states he's a Springfield, Ill. native who at an early age decided to root for the Cubs over the Cardinals. OK, so you start off by telling us you're a moron and a terrible decision maker... Then he underlines his idiocy it by gleefully claiming he "made the right choice" despite the mountain of evidence to the contrary. If that's not enough of an embarrassment, his sentiment seems to be a shameless lifting -- and simultaneous twisting -- of writer George Will's famous quote about growing up in central Illinois:

"While all my friends were becoming Cardinals fans," Will said in 1998, "I became a Cub fan. My friends, happily rooting for Stan Musial, Red Schoendienst and other great Redbirds, grew up cheerfully convinced that the world is a benign place, so, of course, they became liberals. Rooting for the Cubs in the late 1940s and early 1950s, I became gloomy, pessimistic, morose, dyspeptic and conservative."

If you're going to steal the idea, don't try to twist it to fit your narrative, okay, pal?

Heid says reason number one to hate the Cardinals is the franchise's 10 World Series titles. He says they Cardinals and their fans have had enough time in the sun. Then he contradicts himself by trying to belittle the team's previous post-season successes. This really gets my goat -- pun intended -- a Cubs fan who who would die for even a sniff of World Series glory trying to claim that the Redbirds' 10 titles are tainted. He says the Cardinals backed into the wild card in 2011. The rest of the world thinks its the greatest comeback story in baseball history that the Birds beat the Brewers five times in six games, roughed up the Phillies at their home ballpark and knocked out the wildcard leading Braves on the last day of the season to make the playoffs. I'll tell you what, if your team ever wins anything, we can compare whose trophy was more deserved. Until then, stick a red hot in your yap and shaddap.
St. Louis manager Tony La Russa because is a little too smug for the writer's taste. I guess La Russa has something of an ego. But wouldn't anyone who has won the third most games as a manager in baseball history who has six World Series appearances to his credit? Besides, Cubs fans were drooling over the prospect of trying to hire La Russa, former St. Louis GM Walt Jocketty and then trying to sign St. Louis superstar Albert Pujols this off-season. This is the ultimate proof that Cubs fans don't hate the Cardinals -- they're jealous and wish their team was the Redbirds. It's laughable how Cubs fans mocked Jim Edmonds when he was playing in two World Series with the Cardinals. But after a broken down version signed with Chicago, they flocked to buy anything with Jimmy Ballgame's number 15 on it.
The rest of his "points" aren't worth addressing. He makes a half baked pass at the opinion shared by many that St. Louis fans are the best and smartest in baseball, gripes about Joe Buck getting his broadcasting job through nepotism when the Cubs, after they hired a broken down version of legendary Cardinals broadcaster Harry Caray, unleashed his grandson Chip Caray on an unsuspecting baseball world. The last point is a shot at Anheuser-Busch, which hasn't owned the Cardinals for more than a decade and a half. Seriously?
The whole post is childish, pathetic and just stupid. And any Rangers fan would be wise not to pattern his baseball experience off a Cubs fan. Why wouldn't they? Their 42-year old franchise has already seen more success than the Cubs have in the last 103 seasons.
If you want to know about the Cardinals, ask Rangers president Nolan Ryan who said earlier this week that he was excited to play St. Louis in the World Series because he grew up a Cardinals fan. And Ryan should know something about which organizations are classy and which aren't thanks to his five decades in the major leagues as a player and an executive.
Don't buy into this misguided hype. Do something the Cubs never could and let your team's play on the field do the talking.