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Soriano: Don't trade me to AL. Being DH would be "boring"

The Cubs' hopes of trading albatross left fielder Alfonso Soriano may be dashed before talks can get started.

Soriano told the Chicago Tribune that he doesn't want to go to the American League because he's afraid he'll be used as a designated hitter -- a safe assumption given his terrible defense -- and he thinks that would just be far too boring.

You only play like half (the game)," Soriano told the Tribune. "I always play defense and offense, so I'd always have to work on my mind: "Now I am offense guy only."

Seems like Soriano needs to work on his mind one way or the other.

Soriano is set to make $18 million for each of the next two seasons as part of the eight-year, $136 million contract he inked prior to the 2007 season. So he's not content to take all that cash and do something less than ideal. He has to have the money and decide when and where he gets to play. Classy.

Despite Soriano's presence, the Cubs have managed to whittle their payroll down from $144 million three years ago to just over $110 million last season as they shed contracts of players like Carlos Zambrano, Ryan Dempster and Aramis Ramirez. But, like with Zambrano, they'd probably have to send a boatload of cash to any team willing to take Soriano in return.