Helping Others

Any mom would enjoy a thank-you

Q. Even if a lady is not your mother, but is a friend and a mother, she can be wished Happy Mother’s Day, correct? And if I wanted, I could also give her a gift, even if she is not my actual mother?

A. Yes, definitely.

Q. If you are served a dessert which has a rolled cookie sticking in it, such as in a pudding or mousse, are you supposed to eat the entire cookie before you start eating the pudding? You do have to eat it with your fingers, don’t you? If you only take a bite of it and then want to eat a spoonful of the pudding, what do you do with the remaining cookie? Or, what if you are like my husband who doesn’t like those things and doesn’t want to eat it? Can he give it to me?

A. It is proper to eat this rolled cookie or actually thin wafer dessert garnish with your fingers.

It can be eaten bite by bite before you begin eating the pudding or mousse, or during the process of eating the pudding or mousse.

Or, it can be removed and placed on the small service plate underneath the pudding, which hopefully accompanies the dessert, until you choose to eat it. If there is no accompanying service plate, then it can be placed on the bread and butter plate, if that plate has not been removed from your place setting.

Another alternative is to begin eating the pudding first and then remove the rolled wafer and take a bite.

It is not proper to remove the rolled wafer with your left hand and eat it from that hand while eating the pudding with the dessert spoon in your right hand.

If you do not wish to eat the rolled wafer, then remove it and place it as instructed above. Do not leave it in the pudding dish or return it to that dish when you have finished eating the pudding because it could accidentally be flipped out and land somewhere on your place setting or someone else’s place setting or your lap or theirs when the dish is removed by the wait staff.

Although I have seen this occur, it is not proper to remove the rolled wafer and offer it to anyone else, nor allow anyone else to enter your place setting space to remove it from your dessert dish.

Q. I have strong feelings about this and I know what I feel the answer should be, but apparently a lot of other people don’t agree with me or they just don’t know what’s proper: The question is this: isn’t it proper to ask if you can take someone’s picture with your phone before doing so? And if that person agrees, isn’t it proper to ask that person if you can post it to facebook before you doing so?

A. Absolutely. It is also proper for the person, whose picture is being taken, to ask to see the picture after it is taken and if that person does not like it, that person can request it be deleted.

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