After 38 years as BND’s Etiquette Lady, Dianne Isbell makes a graceful exit
If my professional life has taught me one thing, it is this: If you work hard at everything you do, are respectful and maintain a positive attitude, many wonderful paths will open for you at different times for different reasons.
For me, that has meant accepting challenges, trying different paths and seeing what happens. The worst thing that could happen is you discover the path isn’t meant for you after all. At the very least, you’ll learn something that prepares you for the next path.
I feel very fortunate, as I have had several wonderful careers and taken many rewarding paths. The first was serving 37 and a half years as a federal employee at Scott Air Force Base, retiring at the executive level in January 2001. For 13 of those years, I was privileged to serve as director of protocol for a 55,000-person, worldwide major Air Force command.
I had the unique opportunity to work for many high-ranking general officer commanders, establishing and orchestrating myriad critical details for visiting dignitaries from around the world. That included setting protocol policies and procedures for official outdoor military parades, changes of command and retirements; organizing conferences for the command’s units globally; and providing protocol instruction for junior officers and their spouses.
Etiquette Plus
My experience, combined with earning bachelor’s and master’s degrees through evening and weekend classes, set the stage for my first business. With the appropriate government approvals, I founded Etiquette Plus, teaching manners, etiquette and protocol at schools, colleges, universities, corporations and to individuals from all walks of life.
Etiquette Plus itself led to the next path: the Belleville News-Democrat.
Thirty-eight years ago this November, I began advertising my six-week etiquette classes for young girls at St. Clair Square in the Belleville News-Democrat. The wonderful lifestyle editor at that time, Pat Kuhl, took an interest in learning more about the classes I was teaching. After reviewing my background, he requested a meeting.
He asked if I would consider writing a sample etiquette column. I chose to write about telephone etiquette, and apparently it was very well received. My heartfelt thanks go to Pat for approaching me with his idea, for interviewing me, for pitching his proposal to the BND’s leadership and for hiring me as a weekly etiquette columnist.
That was 38 years ago.
So Many Questions ... and Answers
What a rewarding and interesting experience it has been to serve as an etiquette columnist—truly a highlight of my career.
I have answered questions about which fork to use for each course, what to do with your knife after you use it, where to place your purse at the dining table, how to make introductions, and when and how to write thank-you notes. There have been controversial questions, such as what to do with your napkin if you must excuse yourself from the dinner table and the propriety of sending invitations and thank-yous via email.
I’ve addressed how to respond to a rude person, manage a cubicle mate with body odor, settle the debate over toilet paper placement, and prepare for that first interview—including what to wear and what not to wear, say and not say. I’ve covered how to offer a good handshake and how important it is; cell phone etiquette; the critical importance of maintaining eye contact; and why ordering spaghetti during a lunch interview may not be the best idea, but if you do, how to eat it properly.
I have met many interesting, wonderful people—students, audience members, and faithful readers who have sent me many questions. Some have even stopped me at the grocery store, church or the drugstore to ask my advice on an etiquette issue.
I sincerely thank each and every one of you. Your support has meant the world to me.
Expanding the Etiquette Path
After retiring from the federal government, I found time to teach more etiquette classes and make presentations to various groups on a wide range of etiquette subjects.
One of my classes involved teaching little girls about the history of tea and tea etiquette while actually having tea. To make it more realistic and fun, I found beautiful old prom dresses with sleeves that I could put over their dresses and bustle up with rubber bands and clips. I found fur boas in wild colors, gloves, purses and jewelry. I made Victorian-style hats with lots of tulle. Each girl could choose whatever she wanted to wear, regardless of color matching.
I used my china teapots, teacups and saucers, crystal, silver, and elegant tablecloths and napkins from my own collections. We learned how to be proper young ladies—carrying a book on our heads, sitting up straight and using indoor voices while we chatted.
Red hats and other colors
The next path evolved almost simultaneously with the little girls’ tea classes more than 20 years ago.
My older sister saw one of my Victorian hats and asked me to make a red hat for her to wear with the Red Hat Society for their social events. I created one for her that year and the next. Then her friends requested hats. Soon, local shops wanted to carry my unique designs in the Red Hat Society colors of red, purple, lavender and pink.
Before I knew it, I had designs in shops nationwide and was being asked to be a vendor at various Red Hat conferences and teas across the country.
Another path expanded my hat making into other colors: black, white, orange, aqua, yellow. That idea was sparked by a vendor I roomed with at a convention, who was opening a boutique in Lake of the Ozarks and wanted to carry hats of all colors.
Wow—so many millinery supplies are needed for each color. My home was filled with flowers, fabrics, trims, horsehair, sinamay, felt, headbands and frames. The business overtook my home, but what fun it was to see customers light up when trying on one of my designs.
A Path to the Big Apple
One of my fascinators was a winner at New York Fashion Week, which came with a four-day, three-night stay in New York and a photo of me and my design on the JumboTron in Times Square.
Over the years, I have been honored to design for Lady Gaga, the family of President George H.W. Bush, Betsey Johnson, Karlie Kloss, Steve Madden and Diane von Furstenberg, to name a few. My designs have appeared in stage performances, in art galleries and at special events around the world. I have been a featured milliner at the Kentucky Derby, had my designs displayed at Churchill Downs’ museum, been a 12-year winner at the annual Forest Park Forever Hat Luncheon, won Best Hat at the Naples Botanical Gardens Annual Luncheon and many other contests.
I have been featured in publications nationwide and been a guest on TV and podcasts. I have taught classes on how to make a hat or fascinator, given presentations on the history and evolution of hats, and had my designs for sale at stores including Saks, Neiman Marcus, Von Maur, Nordstrom, Macy’s, Dillard’s and other boutiques. My designs have been featured in fashion shows throughout the area.
Not goodbye
Although this is my final etiquette column for the Belleville News-Democrat, my path of teaching etiquette classes and making etiquette presentations will continue. After all, good manners are the key to everything, including a successful career, good relationships, self-confidence, communication and much more.
I am not going to fade away. You can still reach me at dianne.isbell@gmail.com. My millinery path—and its association with etiquette—will continue as well. You can contact me about my designs at the same email.
Who knows how many other paths lie ahead? No matter what, I will always cherish my path as an etiquette columnist these past 38 years for the Belleville News-Democrat.
In closing, a final, heartfelt thank-you from the bottom of my heart to all my wonderful readers and supporters, and to all of my Belleville News-Democrat bosses and publishers for this incredible opportunity.
I will miss you all!