Alexander Camelton for president!
Maybe you’ve heard of him? He’s a cute little Bactrian camel. Just six months old. A zookeeper at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago came up with his name as a nod to the Tony award-winning Broadway musical, “Hamilton,” and the long-dead politician, whom I’m told was George Washington’s assistant.
I say “I’m told” because I wasn’t around back in the late 1700s, when the original Alexander Hamilton convinced New Yorkers to ratify the U.S. Constitution. Now Alexander Camelton? He’s the real deal. I know because I saw his meme on Facebook. Then I Googled him and viewed all these cute little camel pictures and a bunch of interesting facts.
Did you know Bactrian camels have two humps? They hail from Mongolia and Northern China, but since little Alexander was born in Chicago, he could run for president if he weren’t an animal.
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But why should that stop him? Both Hillary and The Donald are political animals and nobody has pulled the plug on them. In my humble opinion, their plugs should have been yanked a long time ago. But I am part of the uninformed majority, so my opinion doesn’t count.
When you get your information from People magazine, nobody takes you seriously.
Such was the case at a recent girls-night-out, during which several gal pals and I discussed the upcoming election. Two friends were Hillary lovers. Two were Hillary haters. And I was a woman in search of a write-in candidate, since I hadn’t heard of Alexander Camelton yet.
As any sensible person will tell you, margaritas and politics don’t mix. Talk about Brangelina’s break up all you want. But mention Bill Clinton’s and Donald Trump’s extra marital dalliances and people tend to get emotional.
“Clinton’s affairs don’t count,” said one friend, as she nibbled a warm tortilla chip.
“If your husband cheated with eight different women, I’d stage an intervention,” I told her.
If my viewpoint sounds conservative, you should know I go both ways. Over the years, I have voted for both Democratic and Republican candidates. Oh, and then there was my infatuation with H. Ross Perot. (I liked his big ears. Plus he had remained true to his wife Margot since the late 1950s, according to People magazine.)
“Let’s stop talking politics,” I told my pals.
Is Hillary a saint or a shyster? Is The Donald a savior or a schmuck?
We weren’t going to figure it out that night.
Then I went home and saw Alexander Camelton on Facebook. After A.C.’s chosen name went public, this little guy became a social media darling. It’s a lot easier to embrace a baby camel than a reality TV star or an email-challenged politician.
A little background: Alexander Camelton is the son of unwed parents — a doting Bactrian camel named Nasan and her mate, a fun-loving camel called Scooter. At full maturity, he should reach 7-feet tall. This would make him taller than Abraham Lincoln, top hat notwithstanding.
The first camel of his kind to be born at the Lincoln Park Zoo since 1998, he already has made history in Chicago.
“It’s going to be really awkward when Alexander Camelton dies in a duel with Aaron Brrr, the Penguin,” a social media user posted on Twitter.
Ain’t gonna happen, buddy. The Secret Service will protect him. Can’t you just picture them in their camel-colored coats? It’s a photo op waiting to happen.
Are you with me, America? It’s write in time!
Alexander Camelton for president.
He’ll get us over the hump!