Here's how to handle a neighborly dispute over Fourth of July party

This year we are hosting it ourselves. We did invite the same neighbors and when my wife called about a month ago, the comment was something like, yes, their friends were wondering if there was going to be a party again this year. That threw my wife for a loop, but she was able to say, we just wanted to cut back on the number of people this year so we could enjoy the party more ourselves. Response was: they are all going to be so disappointed. Did we break an etiquette rule by not asking them to co-host with us this year?

A. No, you did not break any kind of etiquette rule. Just because you asked them to co-host with you last year does not mean you signed a contract with them to co-host every 4th of July party for the rest of your lives. Your wife gave them an honest response as to why you were cutting back on the number of people and if they can't understand that, they can host their own party or plan something with some of their other friends.

Q. I am one of four women friends who get together to celebrate our birthdays. I like all of them, but one is becoming somewhat of a braggart. She monopolizes the conversation by telling us how much money she and her husband make and how they spend it on dinners, vacations, clothing, jewelry, etc. She brags about her son and his family. She even brags about how smart she is! I am not jealous of her because I am content with my life, but her bragging really irks me. I know she can spend her money on things as she sees fit, but also I don't need it "crammed down my throat." I am afraid I might say something rude next time I see her. Is there a polite comment I can make when this happens?

A. How unfortunate. I suggest you be prepared to change the subject if this scenario presents itself at your next birthday gathering. Be polite and tell her, "that's great -- you know we all are so jealous of you" and then turn to one of the other ladies and ask her a question about a subject you know she likes to discuss. If the bragging continues, try the happy, smiley approach of: "Well, now, Jane, we know you have this fantastic life with the best man ever, but I want to hear about Nancy's grandchildren and what they are doing." Hopefully, your light-hearted approach of complimenting her in this manner will get the point across to her without her feeling guilty or upset.

I read the question in your column about the people whose empty chairs, set up for a parade, were moved. I think the people who were rude were the people who set up their chairs and left them. This is a common practice, and it makes me furious. The morning of the Shriners' Parade, chairs were set up along the parade route by 7 a.m. I came at 6 p.m. with my grandchildren, and we had to walk quite a ways to find a place on the front line to sit. I was tempted to throw a few of those empty chairs in the street, but I didn't want to be as rude as the people who had left them.

My response: Thank you for drawing this to my attention. Yes, people who set up their chairs early in the morning and leave them there all day until the parade time, are indeed very rude. It is so sad some people have lost their sense of good manners and are so inconsiderate of others.