Metro-East Living

When you retire, you’re supposed to start downsizing your life. I’ll start on that later.

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I’m at the age where I am supposed to be thinking about downsizing my life, according to the experts.

At least that is what the people at tell me on the Internet. They have 18 suggestions for me but I don’t have the patience for that kind of click bait. Nor do I have what it apparently takes to downsize my household.

All of us worked hard to afford a house in which to raise a family. Now those kids have moved out and that gives us, more than anything, storage potential. We have now worked hard to fill that space.

It starts innocently enough with a few items thrown in with the one thing you wanted to buy at an auction. Soon after that all that empty space is filled with boxes of things and all sorts of odds and ends. All of it is too good to throw away but there isn’t much use for it.

Sometimes its not so much that you want to keep something but more that you don’t know what to do with it. I have a couple of cases of small-colored glass lamp shades, bought at a sale. They are the kind of thing you would only sell at a hardware store or a lamp store. In fact, a lamp store that was going out of business is where they came from.

2020 Wally Spiers

I always think I will find something to do with them but I never do. I started buying old lamp bases a few years ago with the intent of making stained glass lamp shades to go on them. If I could somehow work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, I couldn’t fix up all the lamp bases.

The same goes for the bicycle wheels in the basement and the tomato cages in the garage. I haven’t raised a tomato in years. I don’t even eat them.

There are tons of craft supplies downstairs and tools I haven’t used or don’t even know what they are for.

One box tells me it contains 2,500 plastic straws. It is under some other stuff and I am afraid to open it and see it that is true, or whether something else got stored in there. There are shelves of old camping equipment. I cant remember the last time we went camping. The attic is packed with stuff I haven’t even looked at in years.

It goes on and on. If I started today and managed to get rid of a box a week, maybe in five years I would have made a dent. But I know my lethargy will keep me from starting.

I’ll downsize after I die. Or at least someone will.

Wally Spiers: