The Hammacher Schlemmer catalog is awesome to look at, even if you’re on a budget
Well, the cold weather has blasted us retired folks who are either snuggled in for winter, dreading every venture outside, no matter how brief, or fleeing for the south as snowbirds.
Even if I wasn’t tipped off by all the Christmas displays in stores, I would know Christmas is near because the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog has arrived.
The 2019 edition came the other day and it is always a delight. I’m not sure why I still get it because I’m pretty sure I have never ordered anything.
The Ohio-based company boasts that it has been mailing out catalogs since 1848, “Guaranteeing the Best, the Only, and the Unexpected for 171 years.”
They even have a Hammacher Schlemmer Institute, which tests the products to back up their claims.
It is free to look through the catalog or to go to the website at Hammacer.com and browse, which is good because the best often costs the most. Take the Golf Cart Hovercraft, for instance. It glides along at up to 45 mph, 9 inches off the ground, or off the lake, if you want to cut across a water hazard and not go around. It even has a reverse and the price includes a trailer. A must have for the avid golfer who has a spare $58,000 lying around.
Or if you are on a tighter budget, there is the Astronaut’s Slipper Socks, just like the ones worn by NASA astronauts on space shuttle missions and aboard the International Space Station. Priced at a more reasonable $69.95.
My eye was captured by the Atari Home Arcades, complete with authentic cabinets with games like Pac-Man, Asteroids and Centipede. If you figure it used to cost 25 cents per game, it would only take about 1,600 games to make back the $399.95 price tag.
If, like me, you are watching in the mirror as your hair gradually disappears, the Thinning Hair Boar Bristle Brush might be for you. Made by a British company, the world’s oldest, which is a holder of the Royal Warrant by the British Monarchy. Only $79.95.
The Roomba s9+ has more of everything and costs $1,399.95. Or the Indestructible Stainless Steel Hose gives you some gardening cachet at only $119.95.
Want to one-up your neighbors in Christmas decorations? There is the 18 foot tall inflatable Grinch at $399.95 or the 10 foot tall Frosty the Snowman which also has a projector which plays scenes from the “Frosty the Snowman” movie on its sides for $349.95. Or the 15 foot tall Rudolph the Reindeer for a bargain $299.95.
There is just so much to marvel at. And everything is the best or the only except for the Better Money Clip for only $79.95. I’m not sure how that slipped in there.
I really can’t pick a favorite, although contenders include the shoe rack carousel that holds 25 pairs of shoes, the squeaky dog toy that has an ultrasonic squeaker so it won’t bother humans and the Yoda Table Lamp with a shade bearing the quote, “Do or do not there is no try.”
Wise words when it comes to this catalog. I do look, but I do not buy.
