How to sidestep pricey gift exchange, tips for other gift-giving protocols
Q. A ladies’ organization I recently joined has decided to have a $50 gift exchange at our December get together. I almost choked when the president announced this at our November meeting and I haven’t gotten over it yet. I think that is ridiculous!!!!! I have never spent this much on a gift exchange and I decided I don’t intend to start now. I was talking to another member about this and she said it is totally up to the president of the organization to decide on the amount, but it has never been $50. She’s been a member much longer than I and she thinks it is crazy, too. So I asked her what I can do about it and she said that I should just not take a gift and tell the president you didn’t bring a gift and therefore, do not want one (a gift). Or she said I could just not attend. I wouldn’t feel comfortable not bringing one (an exchange gift) and not asking for one because everyone would then know I didn’t buy a gift. Besides that, what are the chances the gift I receive will be worth $50 much less anything I would want! I don’t want to not go because after all it will be a Christmas party and a fun time. What do you think I should do to handle this?
A. I agree with you and your member friend that $50 is a lot for an exchange gift especially when you do not have a list of possible or suggested gifts to purchase or the name of one of the members with whom you can exchange. If the latter were the case, you could do some behind-the-scenes research to purchase a gift which would reach that person’s 95% satisfaction level. Also, the person who pulled out your name could do some super-sleuthing to find out what kind of $50 gift you would like and hopefully get it for you.
- Not attending the party would not be an ideal option either because questions would be asked about where you were and another member might be asked to check to see if you were ill or why you didn’t attend, and the little white lies would begin and seemingly never end.
- One option might be to provide a $50 donation to the recipient’s charity of choice; however, you would then be required to divulge your identity in order to finalize the donation, and the person receiving your gift may have rather received an actual gift.
- Although it may not be the answer for this year’s gift exchange, someone may want to make a motion at your January meeting to change the process and the amount for next year’s gift exchange.
In the meantime, I hope you get a gift you like and that the person who receives your gift likes theirs as well or it will be a $100 expenditure rather than $50 for both of you.
Q. Some of our family members decided at Thanksgiving to cut off giving Christmas gifts to children once they reach the age of 13. I had already bought one of my niece’s a nice gift who had turned 13 earlier in November. To avoid causing a possible raucous on Christmas day, I think I will give it to her any way as they get in the car to leave. Or should I just return it to the store?
A. Give it to her as they are leaving and if anyone tries to start a “raucous,” merely explain you had already purchased it before the new family rule was made and you wanted her to have the gift.
Q. I hired a cleaning lady this summer who comes every two weeks. I had to offer her more than I had in my budget in order to get her, but do I need to give her a Christmas gift or tip as well?
A. If you want to keep this really good cleaning lady, you will need to give her a Christmas tip. I suggest you cut out that extra Starbucks coffee you buy on the way home from work for a few days and you will have it covered.
