Keep your sick kid away from other children; and no more Valentine’s chocolate, please
Q. My daughter decided she wanted to have a sleepover as part of her birthday present. Together we wrote out the invitations and mailed them. The plan was to go to a movie first and then back to our house for the rest of the evening/night. One of the little girls did not meet us at the movies as planned. We waited and waited and I finally reached her mother on her cell phone and left a message for her to remind her of all the details.
The rest of us went into the movie, and shortly after we got back to our house, this little girl’s mother arrived with her daughter. When I met them at the door, the mother apologized for not having her daughter at the movie, but said she had been sick in bed most of the day so she thought she would let her get a little more rest and then just bring her for the sleep over.
Her daughter was coughing as she said this, and I think my mouth dropped open in shock. I guess my protective mother instincts took over and I said, “I’m sorry, but it is probably not a good idea for her (the daughter) to spend the night if she’s been sick all day and in bed.” Her mother said she thought she was okay and said she had put her cough medicine in her little suitcase.
I could see the disappointment on her daughter’s face and by this time, my daughter was there at my side and three of the other little girls. Talk about being on the spot. I knelt down to the little girl and told her she could come back some other night for a special sleepover and a movie, but I knew she would not want to feel sick during the night or get the other girls sick. She nodded her head, but her mother was NOT happy with me and she turned and stormed off back to her car, mumbling something about me being rude and a terrible person to her daughter.
I did what I thought was best for everyone and I tried to be as polite as possible about it when in fact I wanted to ask this mother what the heck she thought she was doing. I thought about it most of the night. My husband agreed with me that I did the right thing. He also asked me what we would have done if the little girl had stayed and gotten sick during the night, then what!!!!
But does protocol dictate that I should have let this little girl spend the night with us? And, then, what would I have answered to some other mother next week when her daughter got sick? I thought this mother was not using good judgment to bring her in the first place ... am I wrong? Based on what her mother mumbled when she left, should we even invite her daughter for a sleepover some other night?
A. You made the proper decision from a number of perspectives. Your wording seemed very polite to the little girl’s mother. The only rationale for this mother’s unsound reasoning must have been how much her little girl wanted to come and she did not want to be the adult and tell her daughter she needed to stay home in bed. She put you in the “bad guy” position and allowed you to make the decision she should have. Since the other little girls were your responsibility, you made the correct decision on their behalf as well.
There is no protocol rule which would justify your allowing this sick little girl to spend the night. Your offer to have her come some other night a for a “special sleepover” was perfect and very kind.
Yes, do invite this little girl back for some night soon for a special sleepover. Hopefully, her mother will have calmed down, will allow her daughter to come and will not say anything else to you about the previous situation.
Q. I now have five big boxes of chocolates in my freezer from Valentine’s Day gifts from my neighbor. I stopped telling them I don’t like chocolate because they didn’t/don’t listen to me and I don’t want to hurt their little girl’s feelings by not accepting the box from her when she knocks on my door. Not sure what to do with them, though, and I have a small freezer. I have a widowed man who lives on the other side of me but can’t give them to him because he might tell the other neighbor. Any ideas?
A. There is probably a food pantry in your area which would appreciate the candy if it is not past the expiration date. Some person who rarely gets chocolate candy would be very grateful and happy.
