Coronavirus quarantine is nothing to sneeze at, but we must keep our sense of humor

I can find humor in most things. But the coronavirus? Well, that’s a tough one. For the last few days, I’ve been holed up at home contemplating, while loving on my dogs. Oh, and my 19-year-old cat, Malcolm. Can’t forget him.

My pets aren’t aware that the world is upside down. They also aren’t aware that I stocked up on Oreos instead of toilet paper. Let’s just say I’m waiting for a shipment of Charmin to come in. Till then, I’m hoping for the best.

I’m hoping this pandemic runs its course quickly without all the suffering and hardship that’s predicted.

I’m hoping if we have a baby boom in December — which seems likely with all the hunkering down behind closed doors — that no one is foolish enough to name their baby Corona.

And I’m hoping — probably hopelessly so — that my BFF Lydia doesn’t self-combust from slowing down.

Lydia has always operated on one speed and that speed is HOW FAST CAN I GO? It’s not enough she works fulltime as a corporate attorney. She also teaches eight yoga classes a week. In her spare time, she attends multiple events, when she’s not shopping for bargains, traveling, attending movies and dining out.

The world has always been Lyd’s oyster. How dare it clamp shut its shell?

“Can you believe the restaurants and gyms have closed?” she asked me in a recent phone conversation. “And now the retail stores are closing. Seriously, Shelly. What’s next?”

What’s next was Lydia letting out a shriek.

“Oh. My. God. I just walked up to the entrance of my stylist’s salon. There’s a sign on the door that says they’re closed due to the virus. My roots! I have to have my roots done.”

In the end, Lydia’s stylist came through. But I had to ask her: “With all the canceled events, who’s going to see your hair?”

“I’m still going to work,” she reminded me. “Don’t worry. I’m washing my hands.”

I’m washing my hands, too. And I’m wringing them ’cause that’s what I do.

I have always prided myself on worrying about everything and anything. My Jewish mother did it and it worked well for her. My motto has always been: It’s what you forget to worry about that gets you.

Well, I must admit, a pandemic wasn’t even on my radar. Yet here it is. And we all have to deal.