Revised and recommended etiquette during the COVID-19 pandemic

Q. Gee whiz, what would Emily Post say if she saw us coughing and sneezing in the crack of our elbows or bumping elbows instead of shaking hands? When the “coughing in your arm” started a couple of years ago, I was thinking it would be just a temporary thing. Well, so much for my “thinking” because it now seems a lot of people think that is theeee correct way to cough. Whatever happened to cloth handkerchiefs? And I don’t know who decided this bumping elbows together is a proper substitute or alternative to shaking hands during this conoravirus pandemic, but it must have been some kind of irresponsible nut! Just what we want to teach our kids — be more aggressive. I’ve seen people almost jump together as they bump their elbows and then say “ouch” as they rub their stinging elbow. Now doesn’t that look classy, huh? How about standing up straight, keeping your hands in your pockets, maintaining eye contact and just saying “hello” from at least 6 feet away? That wouldn’t — isn’t difficult!! Maybe it’s because some people need to do the “funny” act when they feel uncomfortable in a situation or don’t know what to do. I’d be interested in what you think about all this? Are we ever going back to “dignified?”

A. I think each of us understands we are witnessing and experiencing something terrible in our country and in the world, of which we wish we were not a part. It is a very serious time. Because people are all different; they respond differently when faced with “the serious.” We all have to adjust to the situation and try to do what is best for all. Some are better doing that than others. I am certain if Emily Post were alive today, she, too, would be adjusting to the situation and the accompanying unnatural change to the long-time approved every day rules of etiquette.

Handshake

Ms. Post would realize handshaking must stop in order to prevent the current virus, or any virus or communicable disease from spreading. I think she would, like you, and I, agree that bumping elbows would not be our first choice in temporarily replacing the handshake. Smiling, maintaining eye contact and saying a polite “hello” in accordance with the safe social-distancing recommendations would be our choice because elbow bumping is crude and could actually be dangerous. I am sure Ms. Post would also hope the dignified handshake would return at some point when the virus is gone and regain the dignity it deserves. That is also my hope.

Coughing and sneezing

I must admit, I also do not agree with the “coughing in the arm” which somehow became “theeee correct way to cough” several years ago. It is not only unpleasant and disgusting to watch, but the spot also serves as a harbinger of germs from that point on, whether you are wearing a sweater, coat, or whatever.

So, if you meet someone and that person touches you anywhere near that spot, not knowing you just coughed there, germs can easily be spread. Everyone (female and male) should carry tissues or a handkerchief. With the handkerchief or tissue opened in the palm of your hand, position your hand around and over your mouth and turn away from anyone near you, as you cough or sneeze. Then, be sure to wipe the area around your mouth and nose. If it is a tissue, throw it away. Do not look inside it before you throw it away — that is disgusting!

If it is a handkerchief, wipe the area around your mouth and then put it back in your pocket or purse. Do not use it again if you feel it is too messy. Instead, use a tissue. If at all possible, do not touch anyone or anything after you cough or sneeze, but go wash your hands thoroughly as soon as possible. If you cannot do that, move to an area away from everyone and use one of the sanitizer packets you should have in your purse, or pants pocket or inside the pocket in your suit or sports coat jacket.

Proper hygiene

Ms. Post and I and all etiquette experts stress the importance of demonstrating good hygiene as a part of proper etiquette. The following hygiene rules, some old and some new are those that we should fastidiously follow:

• Wash your hands thoroughly and often, and that means using soap and water and rubbing the soap all over your hands and fingers for at least 20 seconds, before rinsing and drying.
• Do not touch your mouth, nose, eyes or ears. If you do, wash your hands again immediately.
• If you have to go out to the drug store, grocery store, etc, maintain the required social distancing so as not to breathe in any of these airborne germs or allow your germs to be spread to anyone else.
• If you have to go out, be sure to change your clothes as soon as you return home and wash them.
• Wear gloves if you have to go out and wash them as soon as you return.
• If you have to go out, do not shake hands with anyone for the time being, or touch them, nor kiss or hug anyone, even if you are feeling 100% and so is the other person. The Coronavirus germs are invisible and can be carried by anyone.
• If you are not feeling well, do not leave your house.
• If you have to go out, where a mask, and don’t feel uncomfortable doing so. Many people are now sewing cloth face masks which are not fully coronavirus certified, but the CDC indicates they definitely do provide some measure of protection for you from germs in the air. There are patterns available on the internet. I have made them and if you have sewn before, they are not difficult. Remember however, that wearing one, does not negate the need for following social distancing requirements.

My bottom line is one that the boxing referee always says to the boxers in the middle of the ring just before he sends them to their respective corners and the bell rings: “Follow the rules and protect yourself at all times.”