In search of etiquette advice? Dianne Isbell offers guidance for various circumstances
Q. I have been “walking” with one of my neighbors in our neighborhood every morning or evening for several months.
We’ve been wearing masks throughout the entire walk which is about a mile. Last week, when I went by her house for her to join me, as I always do, another two women came out. They were two friends of hers from a subdivision just across the highway. One was not wearing a mask. She said she couldn’t breathe while wearing a mask. I felt very uncomfortable because she was walking right behind me.
We walked about a block and I turned to my original walking friend and excused myself and went back home. I ran into her at the drug store the following day. She stopped and told me I owed her a apology. I again walked away from her and have not called or talked to her since. I’m trying to decide if I should call her to apologize; my husband says NOT, and my sister says “absolutely not.”
I am thinking I could probably just call her and apologize for not explaining why I walked away that day; that I felt uncomfortable about the lady behind me not wearing a mask. My husband feels she should have known I was uncomfortable without my even telling her and that she should be the one apologizing to me. Do I owe her an apology?
A. No, you definitely do not owe her an apology. Your walking partner was very inconsiderate to subject you to having another lady join the two of you in your walk without asking you, much less less a person who was not wearing a mask. In honesty, she owes you an apology but I would just “move on.”
Babysitting question from a babysitter
Q. I have been a babysitter for a family with two young children. I was asked to babysit these two children this summer. It was to be every day, every week for at least four to six hours a day depending on whether they went to Vacation Bible School. Then the parents started taking turns staying at home occasionally. I would get a call early in the morning that I did not need to come that day. The same thing happened several times a week for most of the summer and instead of my getting paid by the weekly amount I was to have been paid, I was only paid for the hours I babysat. I could have had other jobs to babysit if I had known ahead of time, I was not going to be needed. I finally explained this to the parents and they said they weren’t going to pay me if I didn’t work. I told them I was, therefore, not going to babysit for them any more.
They got upset and said I had told them I would babysit all summer for them and they expected me to do that. I told them I did but it was to be a full week, not just a few hours, and if I had known they weren’t going to do that I could have been able to work for someone else and that I didn’t think it was fair to call me early in the morning to tell me not to come to baby sit and then not pay me.
They said they would see me on Monday because they had no one else. I told them I was sorry but I would not be coming on Monday, nor any other day. I turned and left as they were saying, “what do you think we are supposed to do? You should be ashamed of yourself.” I chose not to tell my parents or they would have been really upset. I decided to tell you about this and ask you if I was out of place by bringing this up to these parents and if I was out of place to quit?
A. I am sorry this happened to you. I would like to apologize to you for them. These parents definitely did not abide by what they had promised you; therefore, you were not out of place to, not only bring up the subject to these parents, but to quit.