Here’s advice on an office romance & purchasing gift for a wedding you cannot attend

Q. If you find out your co-worker’s boyfriend is seeing another girl in the office at the same time, do you tell her or let her find out herself?

A. Rule 1: Office romances — dating people with whom you work — is never a good idea; therefore; Rule 2: Do not give advice to co-workers who are involved in an office romance.

Q. I am not going to be able to go to my former college roommate’s wedding this summer because I have started a new job and will not be able to take any time off when she is getting married. I also will not be able to go to the bridal shower. I want to get her something really nice as a wedding gift but it costs more than I can afford to spend. So I was thinking maybe I could make it a gift for the two events: Shower and wedding. Is that proper and can I send it so she can open it at the shower? Or should I wait until after the shower and send it to her house? Or send it to her parents to be opened along with the other gifts from the wedding? I know the shower will be a surprise so I can’t send it to her before it takes place, but I don’t want her to think I’m not giving her a gift for the shower either.

A. Some family members and friends often purchase a more expensive or more significant gift for the bride’s wedding and consider it a gift which covers both the shower and the wedding. In order to prevent any misunderstanding or hurt feelings, it is a good idea to:

• Wait until you get the shower invitation and then notify the hostesses to please let the bride know you will be sending your gift to cover both events for the wedding. Or
• Contact the bride, either by phone or a short note, immediately after the shower to inform her of your gift plans.
• Do both.

My recommendation would be to do all three.