John Foppe finds lots of ways to hug his little girl
Editor’s note: This story was originally published on Feb. 19, 2012.
Children couldn’t help noticing John Foppe walking down the hall to his daughter’s classroom at All Saints Academy in Breese.
The dad with no arms kicked off his right clog, lifted his leg, picked up an ink pen with his toes and signed out 4-year-old Faith Foppe.
She skipped over to the wooden cubbyhole that contained her backpack and other belongings and put on her pink coat.
”You better put your hood on,” said John, 41, using his mouth to guide it over her head. “It’s raining outside.”
Once in the parking lot, Faith grabbed her father’s shirt sleeve as if it were his hand. He opened the car door, buckled her seat belt and drove home, steering the wheel with his right foot and hitting the gas and brakes with his left.
”How was school today?” John asked.
”Fine,” Faith replied.
”What did you have for lunch?”
“Spaghetti, cheese bread and chocolate milk.”
“What did you learn in school today? Are you still studying the letter P?”
“Uh-huh. I made pizza (out of construction paper).”
John pulled in the driveway of the two-story Victorian home he shares with Christine Fulbright Foppe, his wife of nine years. Faith is their only child.
John is finishing a seven-month stint as a stay-at-home dad while occasionally leading motivational programs around the world.
”He’s a great father,” said Christine, 43, who works as director of sales at Hilton Garden Inn and Regency Conference Center in O’Fallon.
”He’s so caring and sensitive. He loves his little girl. He’s very good with her. He’s always thinking of her. They have a special relationship.”
Living by example
John was born with no arms, but his life has been a shining example of how to overcome obstacles. His 2002 book “What’s Your Excuse?” has sold more than 25,000 copies.
He was last employed as executive director of Community Link, a non-profit agency that helps people with developmental disabilities.
”I have a heart for working with people in need, whether they have disabilities, dependencies or other difficulties,” John said. “It has taught me a lot about the frailty of the human condition, but also the strength we have to deal with it.”
John’s mere presence at All Saints Academy provides students with a lesson in diversity.
When Faith entered preschool, he visited her classroom and demonstrated how he paints pictures and writes his name with no hands.
A year later, the preschoolers don’t seem to give it much thought.
”The kids know who Faith’s father is, but they don’t treat him different than any other parent,” said her teacher, Shelley Toennies. “It’s just routine. That’s how John does things. They don’t question it.”
Shelley sees him not only as a loving father but a positive role model.
”Faith is so incredibly sweet,” she said. “She’s always a first responder when one of the other students is upset about something. She’ll rub their back and say, ‘Everything’s going to be OK.’”
Starting a family
John was born in 1970 with several birth defects, including no arms, but he learned to use his feet to eat, write and play.
He graduated from Mater Dei High School in Breese and earned a bachelor’s degree in communications and a master’s in social work from St. Louis University before he started his corporate motivation business.
John met Christine after a mutual friend invited her to one of his talks. They married in 2003 in a traditional ceremony at St. Dominic Catholic Church.
”I sat on a bar stool where I could put my foot up,” John said. “I do have a wedding ring. It has a hinge so you can get it around the knuckle (of my toe).”
Faith’s birth five years later prompted the Foppes to move back to Breese from downtown St. Louis to be closer to John’s family.
The new dad had to get creative in developing parenting skills. He gave Faith a bottle and changed her diaper with his feet.
”When I needed to get her out of the crib, I would grab ahold of her sleeper with my teeth and put her down on the floor to work with her,” he said. “It was kind of like a dog picking up her puppy.”
John later carried Faith in a sling around his neck. Today, she can get dressed on her own and even help Dad with household chores, ranging from cooking to laundry.
They have a surprisingly efficient system in the kitchen. John leans over so Faith can put her arms around his neck then lifts her up onto the counter to retrieve cans of food or stir soup.
”They go to the grocery store, and she (pushes the cart) and gets the items on his list off the shelves,” Christine said. “She feels very special because she gets a job and gets to help. Now, sometimes he’ll end up with an extra Hershey bar, but that’s OK.”
Playing “Mr. Mom”
The first order of business after school at the Foppe house is going through Faith’s backpack. John places it on the floor, sits in a chair at the kitchen table and sifts through notices and projects with his feet.
Sometimes they play in her upstairs bedroom, which has hot-pink walls, white furniture and windows lining the turret.
”My bedroom is the castle,” said Faith, who opted for a Paris theme after visiting that city on one of Dad’s business trips.
The playroom next door reflects her love of all things domestic with its miniature washing machine, oven, ironing board and tea set. But her favorite toy is the Spider-Man action figure she got for Christmas.
Also of special significance is Faith’s Mother Teresa doll, kept pristine on a shelf. The Foppes gave her the middle name Teresa because the Missionaries of Charity prayed for her conception while John was speaking at their New Jersey retreat.
Christine became pregnant three months later.
”No matter where I am in the world, I try to hook up with the sisters and provide a program for them and the impoverished people they serve,” said John, who has designated the order as his personal charity.
On a recent weekday, Faith was hungry after school. John made her a sandwich, opening the bread bag and holding a knife in his toes to spread peanut butter and jelly.
When asked to describe her dad, Faith offers a long list of his skills in no particular order.
”He gives me piggyback rides,” she said. “He can light candles with his toes. He can read. He can pour a drink in his cup. He can work on the computer with his keyboard on the floor.
”He can open the door. He can put his coat on. He can light a fire. He can paint. He can put my clothes on, and sometimes I help him. He can eat with his toes. He can point with his toes. He brushes his own teeth.”
John and Faith have dinner ready every night when Mommy gets home, complete with candles on the table and a fire in the hearth.
John has enjoyed his seven months as Mr. Mom, but he is taking on a new challenge this month.
He has been named executive director of the St. Louis Council of the Society of St. Vincent de Paul, a Catholic charity.
”I’m really excited about this opportunity,” John said. “St. Vincent de Paul has a long, proud history of serving vulnerable people and helping them improve their lives. I feel like I have big shoes to fill. My predecessor was (former St. Louis broadcaster) Zip Rzeppa.”
This story was originally published May 17, 2021 at 7:45 PM.
