From an expensive dinner to fishing, BND columnist addresses Father’s Day dilemmas
Q. My kids are a little upset with me because they wanted to take us (my husband and me) out for dinner at a very nice place on Father’s Day. But Dad had a different idea of how he wanted to spend his Father’s Day. He wanted to BBQ some ribs and have all the kids and grandkids outside with him playing some yard games and enjoying a swim in the pool. So, I get to be the “bad guy” and tell the kids we are not going to go to dinner with them but that Dad would like them to come over and he is cooking.
The kids seem to think I am the one who wants him to BBQ and that is definitely not the case. It is a lot easier on me if we go out to dinner rather than my having to prepare all the side dishes, drinks and desserts to go with his BBQ, not to mention getting the table set and then doing all the cleanup afterwards, because by that time they are all full, “played out” and “swimmed out” and they all go home.
So, I suggested the kids take us out the following Saturday night to a really nice restaurant if they still wanted to take us to dinner to celebrate Father’s Day. Yes, of course, was their answer, but they wanted to go out the Saturday night before Father’s Day because it would be more meaningful rather than waiting. Although I would have to kill myself getting all the food prepared that day before having to leave for dinner, I felt like that was my only option to appease everyone and keep them happy. I thought I made the proper decision until I told my husband what the kids and I agreed to do. Let’s just say he was not a happy camper because he didn’t want them to spend a bunch of money for babysitters plus an expensive dinner — not just for them but us on top of it.
So he decides he will pay for everybody and I am not allowed to tell. Well, we will see what happens Sunday. I will be the “bad guy in the middle” again no matter what I say or don’t say. I think the kids should have just talked to their dad in the very beginning about what they wanted to do. He can certainly tell them what he wants or doesn’t want. All I can say is Saturday night is going to be interesting and then so will Sunday depending on how Saturday night turns out when he pays the bill.
A. Interesting set of circumstances you found yourself intertwined in for just trying to be “the nice guy.” You came to the correct solution; however, it was one you could have made sooner and your life would have become less stressful. That solution was to let the kids talk to their dad from the very beginning to “iron out” what was going to take place on Father’s Day.
‘A rude and inconsiderate jerk’?
Q. I think this is really rude and inconsiderate of my husband. We have two very young boys who have been planning to spoil their dad on Father’s Day with breakfast in bed, foot massage, back rubs, and going fishing with him on Father’s Day. Fine until some single guys who work with Dad convince him he should go fishing with them for the weekend! I told the boys I would take them to their favorite park and then they could help me make Dad’s favorite cake and we will surprise him with that when he gets home Sunday. They seem okay with that but I still think my husband is being a rude and inconsiderate jerk, don’t you?
A. Well, I cannot call him a rude and inconsiderate jerk, but I can say he will be missing an opportunity to not only have a fun time with his little boys on Father’s Day, but he will be missing out on a “memory day” of the best kind. Thank goodness you are saving the day by planning to take your boys to their favorite park and then letting them help you make Dad’s favorite cake. Hopefully he will enjoy the cake and still have some quality time with his adoring sons.