An upset sister, a Zoom call and Cornish game hens — advice on Thanksgiving quandaries

Q. We are or were scheduled to host Thanksgiving at our house this year for our family. We have been taking turns for several years now. We had some remodeling scheduled to start in August and it has been delayed until this coming week; therefore, we cannot host Thanksgiving. Since it is our turn, we decided to rent a local church basement and we are having the food catered. Instead of calling each family member and getting a lot of “you don’t have to do that ...,” we decided to send out an email to each family to give them all the details and why we were changing the location. We even have games for the little ones to play to keep them occupied.

There is a TV there (not a huge screen) but big enough to watch football on. My goodness, you would have thought we turned the world upside down or committed a crime!!!! My one sister is so upset with me, she said she may not come. She said we should have consulted the entire family before we made this decision. Should we have or as the hosts, didn’t we have the right to make the decision ourselves? I have to give the caterer the final count on Monday — do I call my sister or just order enough food to take care of them whether they show or not?

A. Yes, as the hosts, and based on the circumstances, you had every right to make the decision to rent the church basement and have the food catered. To have asked one of your family members to host Thanksgiving at the last minute would have been inconsiderate. If you had called each family member and asked their opinion, you would have started a big ruckus and you may not have had a consensus of opinion for days. It is not like you are asking any member of your family to help pay for anything and you are providing games and TV; therefore, it is all the same as any other Thanksgiving — just not in your house.

• As to your sister: She is acting rather difficult, to say the least. Rather than pay for extra food if she and her family do not come, you will have to call her and play her game by saying: “I do hope you are joining us on Thursday — it won’t be Thanksgiving without all of you. It will be a lot of fun and the little ones will have a lot more space in which to run around and play games.”

Thanksgiving Zoom get together

Q. My grandparents have decided not to join the rest of the family for Thanksgiving again this year because they have some health issues and don’t want to take the chance of getting COVID. I know they would rather be with us, but I understand why they decided not to come. Therefore, would it be weird if we set up a Zoom on Thanksgiving Day for about 30 minutes so that all the other family members can take turns and say hello to them? Last year, we called them and most of the family had a chance to at least say hello, but I think it would be nice if they could actually see us and us, them. They have a laptop and email, so all I would have to do is send them the link that they click on.

A. Sounds like a great idea — for them and everyone!

Cornish game hen or ham?

Q. I hate Cornish game hens and that is what my brother is making for Thanksgiving. So, could I offer to bring a nice ham, ready to serve? Or maybe I should just bring it. I could at least eat some of that.

A. Please don’t take the ham without first asking your brother. If he says he would rather you didn’t bring it, then abide by his decision. There, no doubt, will be lots of vegetables and salad(s) and desserts to fill your tummy without having to eat any of the Cornish Game Hens.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!