Etiquette: Don’t let friendship go to the dogs

Q: Some friends of ours agreed several months ago to take care of our dog while we would be gone for a week for Easter. We were so relieved because our dog doesn’t eat well when she is in a kennel, but she really likes these friends of ours. The plan I discussed with our friends was that we would drop off our dog the morning we are scheduled to leave because our flight isn’t until late afternoon. When I called to remind them when we would be dropping off our dog, there was dead silence and some stuttering. She finally said they couldn’t keep our dog after all, but gave no further explanation. She quickly added she was just about to leave the house when I called and she had to go.

My husband and I can’t figure this out. We found another person to watch our dear dog, but I’m wondering when we get back if it would be totally improper for me to call and ask why they changed their minds? Or, if she should call, can I ask them to go to dinner with us (like we do every couple of months), and then ask them? Your opinion, please.

A: If your friends wanted you to know why they changed their minds about watching your dog, they would have told you the day you called them to discuss the drop-off information. There is an old saying which goes something like this: “It is better to let a sleeping dog lie.” I think that saying fits your story. I do not recommend you call to ask any further questions, nor bring up the subject at all if there are any future dinners together.

Q: Everyone comes to our house for Easter and that’s the way it has been for many years. The Easter Bunny hides eggs in our yard, and it is a fun time when all the little ones hunt eggs in the afternoon. Our youngest grandchild is now 10. My husband and I decided we wouldn’t have the Easter Bunny hide any more eggs. We’re getting some flack, however. Isn’t 10 too old to hunt Easter eggs?

A: Perhaps one can never get too old to hunt Easter eggs. It has obviously become a tradition in your family that is looked forward to each year with a lot of fond memories. The Easter Bunny would probably not like the idea of your getting “flack” for no eggs in your yard, so let him do his thing another year and have fun.

READER’S COMMENt

“I feel I need to respond to the letter from the woman who does not want to go to her husband’s office St. Pat’s party.”

1. “She in not an employee. If she does not want to go, her invitation should be declined, simply, “Cannot attend ...

2. “I am a vegetarian, also food allergies. ... I have been to so many functions where there is nothing for me to eat except a small salad. ... That’s no fun!”

3. “If the atmosphere of the party is not comfortable for her, the food not acceptable, let her husband go, as he is the employee who needs ‘team building,’ not his spouse.”

This story was originally published March 20, 2016 at 10:22 AM with the headline "Etiquette: Don’t let friendship go to the dogs."