Head over heels in a spotted white dress

I was wearing a white cotton dress the day I met my future husband. My color choice had nothing to do with virtue and everything to do with the fact I wanted to show off my fake tan. But that’s another story.

This story begins with the Diet Coke I spilled down the front of my dress as I sashayed down the Belleville News-Democrat spiral staircase to interview one Mark Schrader for an article on eligible bachelors. At the time, Mark thought I looked adorable trying to rinse off that stain. His opinion was tempered by the fact I was a lot younger then — and what guy doesn’t like a girl in a wet white dress?

Twenty-six years and 3,422 stains later, my knack for spilling and wearing has lost its appeal. Over time, Mark has developed an eye for spotting even the tiniest stains on clothing, which he delicately recommends I change before we leave the house.

He also has a knack for zeroing in on the dog hair I wear chicly on black pants. (Now, I have always had dogs, so I have always worn fur. I just wore it better back in 1990.)

Bottom line: He knew the job was dangerous when he took it.

“You haven’t changed at all,” my best friend Lydia Kachigian, a Granite City attorney, explained. “Everything bad about you now was bad about you then. You didn’t try to hide it. He just thought it was cute because he was in love.”

News Flash: Mark is still in love. He has just taken off the rose-colored glasses.

“Being married is a LOT different than dating,” concurred my pal, Sheila Shearlock, who grew up in Granite City and now sips pina coladas under palm trees in Florida. Sheila has been married three times and has a very handsome boyfriend, so she’s my go-to relationship expert.

“People always show their best selves when they’re dating, no doubt about it,” Sheila mused. “Some of the things you love about them dating are the things you’ll wind up hating later.”

For instance, Sheila’s boyfriend Max is a very shy guy. And back when they first got together, she used to think his shy kisses were adorable.

“He’d never linger, just a quick smoocheroo,” Sheila remembered and sighed. “Here I thought his quickie, two-second kisses were so sweet, so precious. It took me a while to figure out the man doesn’t like to kiss. He does it fast to get it over with. This aggravates the heck out of me.”

It is an age-old story that plays out in relationships across the country: What was cute then just isn’t cute now.

Especially when someone is eyeing up your garlic mashed potatoes.

“I see that look,” my husband told me recently over dinner at Tavern on Main. “You ordered the pasta, so keep your fork off my plate.”

“But I didn’t know yours would smell so good. C’mon, Mark. I LOVE garlic mashed potatoes.”

Rewind a quarter century. On our second date, Mark and I dined at a little Mexican restaurant in O’Fallon. I made quick time of my cheese nachos before diving into his chicken enchiladas.

“You eat so much for a skinny girl,” he said, adoringly. “I love a girl with an appetite.”

I’m still that girl. And I still love to eat. It is important to keep your sense of humor.

“Love at first sight is easy to understand,” penned writer and psychotherapist Amy Bloom. “It’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.”

Those garlic mashed potatoes were really good. So good I wound up wearing them home.

This story was originally published July 16, 2016 at 9:00 AM with the headline "Head over heels in a spotted white dress."