Out-of-state victims help unravel 20 years of fraud and deception by Highland woman
Liz and Brian Hickox were trying to be nice when they agreed to take a photo of Sarah Delashmit crossing the finish line at a benefit bike ride two years ago in New York.
It was a simple gesture with life-changing consequences.
The Rhode Island couple went on to develop a friendship with Delashmit, a 30-something-year-old woman from Highland, Illinois. She visited them three times at their rented Florida vacation home and got to know their family and friends. She and Liz Hickox spent hours texting and talking on the phone.
“You’re like a sister to me,” Liz Hickox recalls Delashmit saying.
The Hickoxes found Delashmit’s story to be sad but inspiring. She had Stage 4 breast cancer, a husband who worked as a UPS pilot with post-traumatic stress disorder related to military service, an adorable baby daughter, a job as a Southwest Airlines flight attendant and a dream of becoming a triathlete before she died.
Except she didn’t. It was all a lie.
Delashmit pleaded guilty in October to five felonies related to three scams that involved faking breast cancer and genetic disorders to get money, donated items and trips from two non-profit organizations and making false statements to a credit-card company and internet retailer to obtain a $4,500 triathlon bike.
Delashmit’s relationship with the Hickoxes isn’t part of the federal court case. It’s not considered a crime to trick people into feeling sympathy, showing kindness, taking you on boat rides or giving you free meals and lodging.
“It’s almost laughable when you’re looking at it from the outside in,” said Brian Hickox, 41, a financial adviser in business with his wife.
“(But) it’s so very different when it happens slowly. I would say it’s like a boa constrictor, where it’s so slow, and eventually it just becomes tighter and tighter, and then it’s too late. That’s kind of how it felt. ... Things don’t add up, but you just sort of shrug them off.”
Connecting with other victims
The Hickoxes said they learned the truth about Delashmit in March of 2019, after an over-the-top phone charade in which she pretended to be shot at the Highland Walmart by a woman obsessed with her fictitious husband.
By that time, a nonprofit organization that the couple had been volunteering for already had given Delashmit a road bike and cycling shoes and paid for her to attend two summits for young women with breast cancer. The gear and one of the trips are part of the court case.
It would take another year and a half for the Hickoxes to fully understand the depth of Delashmit’s deception. They said internet research connected them with dozens of people from all over the country who maintain that she conned them into giving her things, valuable or not, mostly by posing as a sick or disabled person.
The accusations span 20 years, the couple said, making some too old for prosecution under statutes of limitations even if laws were broken.
“There were so many victims, but the victims didn’t know about each other,” said Liz Hickox, 55. “People didn’t know how to collectively come together and tackle this.”
The Hickoxes’ bizarre discovery landed them on the “Dr. Phil” show with Delashmit in April of 2019. She admitted to having a “lying addiction,” and the TV psychologist observed that she seemed proud of being smart enough to fool people with her tall tales.
The Hickoxes and other victims later helped inform an FBI investigation that led to the federal charges against Delashmit, now 36. She pleaded guilty Oct. 13 to four counts of wire fraud and one count of mail fraud in U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Illinois in East St. Louis. Sentencing is set for Jan. 19.
Delashmit, who was released on recognizance after her June arraignment, couldn’t be reached for comment. Her attorney, Federal Assistant Public Defender David Brengle, didn’t return phone calls from the BND.
“(Sarah is) a master at manipulation,” said Liz Hickox during a recent business trip to Illinois. “She’s an absolute master. She’s not a dumb girl. She’s very smart and calculating, and she’s good at what she does.“
Delashmit has used at least 11 email addresses, 12 mailing addresses and seven cellphone numbers for her exploitations, according to the Hickoxes.
Highland police alerted in 2006
Delashmit was a member of the Highland High School Class of 2003, according to yearbooks. She’s shown smiling in her senior photo with rosy cheeks, short brown hair and wire-rimmed glasses.
Delashmit first appeared on the local police department’s radar screen three years later, when she was away at college, said Chris Conrad, Highland’s current interim city manager and former police chief. Andrea Smith, who represented a support group for spinal muscular atrophy patients and their families, filed a complaint.
Smith reported that Delashmit had done extensive research, allowing her to pass as multiple patients and mothers of children with the genetic disorder in online chats, switching names and posting fake photos. Eventually, some people became suspicious.
“(Sarah) was using different email addresses through Yahoo and Gmail and all these other places, but the IP address was the same,” Smith said last month.
Conrad was a patrolman for Highland Police Department in 2006. He interviewed Delashmit at her parents’ house in Highland during a college break and found her to be polite, well-spoken and intelligent.
Conrad remembers telling Delashmit that her online behavior was inappropriate and that it’s hard to regain people’s trust after being dishonest.
“Nothing she was doing back then was illegal,” Conrad said. “It was just strange and kind of creepy for the families (in the support group).
“She described having difficulty making friends, which I think might be part of why she likes to live in a fantasy world. ... I guess some people, once they start down that path of telling lies, they just can’t ... They don’t have the ability to pull back from it. It’s like one just feeds into another. The truth gets very hard to discern.”
Conrad said Highland police had no further involvement with Delashmit until 2019, when the Hickoxes figured out that she was deceiving them and when Smith called to report seeing her on the “Dr. Phil” show.
Smith, 50, of Piedmont, South Carolina, has been volunteering for organizations that support spinal muscular atrophy patients and their families for 16 years.
Smith said Delashmit’s 2006 support-group crashing still bothers her because Delashmit took time and assistance away from people who actually needed help and led some to reveal deeply personal information. She also got a free quilt, which Highland police confiscated and returned to the Cole’s Quilts organization whose volunteers made it.
“The effects have been lasting,” Smith said. “Now everybody is wary (of communicating on social media). There is a trust issue. We actually have a catchphrase in our community. Someone will say, ‘I think so-and-so is pulling a Sarah.’”
Fake friendship lasted 11 years
One of the people with whom the Hickoxes got connected during their research is Erin Johnson, 38, of Upland, California.
Johnson, who uses a wheelchair due to cerebral palsy, met Delashmit in June of 2005 at a camp for children and adults with disabilities where she was a camper and Delashmit was a counselor. Johnson isn’t naming the camp because, she said, the staff hasn’t done anything wrong and doesn’t deserve bad publicity.
Johnson and Delashmit seemed to hit it off immediately.
“We became very close,” Johnson said. “We were like best friends. She told me that I reminded her of her disabled sister, who turned out not to be real.”
Delashmit flew to California to visit Johnson and her parents more than once before the two returned to camp in 2006. For the next 10 years, they texted, messaged or talked on the phone every day. Delashmit sent photos and shared stories about her husband, kids, friends and relatives, who Johnson now knows didn’t exist.
Johnson said Delashmit claimed to suffer from at least three types of cancer, as well as Ebola, Guillaine-Barre syndrome and other illnesses. She pretended to have seizures during Skype sessions and once sent a video of herself on a ventilator.
“I know it sounds crazy,” Johnson said. “There were so many red flags that I ignored.”
Johnson’s parents were skeptical at times, questioning Delashmit’s miraculous recoveries and other inconsistencies in her stories, but they didn’t want to ruin a friendship that was important to their daughter.
When Johnson’s mother died in 2014, Delashmit attended the memorial service, telling people she had just undergone major back surgery the week before.
Johnson said she learned that Delashmit was a con artist more than two years ago, when a camp employee called her father. She later was interviewed by the FBI.
Johnson’s father is now deceased. She lives in a group home.
“I was devastated (about Sarah’s deception) for a very long time,” Johnson said. “She never stole any money or anything from me. It was more of an emotional thing. I was very, very close to her and the people around her. She created this entire family that I thought was my family.”
The long-term effect? “I don’t trust anybody unless they really prove themselves to me.”
Emotional weekends in Florida
The Hickoxes are avid cyclists who live in Newport, Rhode Island. They formerly volunteered and raised money for the Young Survival Coalition, a New York-based nonprofit that helps young adults with breast cancer. The organization sponsored the Tour de Pink bike ride where they met Delashmit in October of 2018.
According to the federal charges, Delashmit falsely claimed to be a breast-cancer survivor, prompting the organization to give her more than $1,000 worth of financial benefits and donated items, including a Giant Avail bicycle.
After the ride, Delashmit communicated with the Hickoxes via Facebook and eventually let them know that her cancer had progressed from Stage 3 to Stage 4. That was followed by a Christmas card with photos of a baby purported to be her 14-month-old daughter.
“Honestly, I was touched,” said Liz Hickox, who sent Delashmit a plush blanket to keep her warm during chemotherapy. “I thought, ‘If I can help this woman who’s going through a tough time, I’m going to do that.’”
Before long, Delashmit was messaging more than a dozen times a day, but it wasn’t until late January or early February of 2019 that she reached out by phone, according to the Hickoxes. She was supposedly flying to Fort Lauderdale to visit a fellow flight attendant and wanted to stop by the Florida vacation home they were renting.
The couple told Delashmit that their small place didn’t have an extra bed, but she seemed undeterred, so they asked Liz Hickox’s parents, who lived nearby, if she could stay in their guest room.
Beyond boating and other sightseeing, the weekend included emotional discussions about Delashmit’s health problems, her husband and his post-traumatic stress disorder and her desire to complete a 100-mile bike ride to leave a proud legacy for her daughter.
“We would really talk about how .. she was afraid to leave this earth (and) she didn’t know how her husband was going to handle raising a baby girl,” Liz Hickox said. “And ‘What does he know about little girls?’ And ‘I don’t want to be forgotten.’ And that really just got me. ... I think at that moment, I took this on as my mission, to make sure she never felt forgotten.”
“I think our emotional buy-in was so strong because we do have friends that are Stage 4 that do have these real-life experiences,” Brian added.
The Hickoxes borrowed a bicycle for Delashmit to ride that weekend, taught her how to shift gears and otherwise helped her begin long-distance training, thinking she would continue back in Illinois.
Five days later, Delashmit appeared unexpectedly at a Florida triathlon in which Liz Hickox’s mother was competing, saying she wanted to support “Mom,” who had been so hospitable. That led to another weekend visit, more bonding with family and friends and Delashmit’s decision to become a triathlete, not just a cyclist.
Things got stranger the following weekend, when Delashmit showed up in Florida a third time, despite being told that the family would be busy hosting out-of-town guests.
“It was very clear that she wasn’t invited,” Liz Hickox said.
‘Shooting’ at Highland Walmart
Delashmit’s behavior was unconventional, but no one suspected that she was a phony, according to the Hickoxes. They had met her at a reputable bike ride. She always wore wigs or scarves, as many women do when undergoing chemotherapy. She was extremely knowledgeable about cancer and cancer treatment.
Brian Hickox also had begun communicating with Delashmit’s husband via Facebook, trying to help “James” deal with the difficult situation his family was facing. (Delashmit later stated on “Dr. Phil” that she had used that name in her schemes more than once.)
The fourth weekend, Delashmit honored the Hickoxes’ request that she not come to Florida, but she invented a new story line, maintaining that she was being stalked by a woman who had become obsessed with her husband.
“When I came back (from a workout), she told me that the Highland police were at her house, and they brought in the FBI ... because the stalker apparently had a very long criminal record that involved violence and possibly an aunt with a mysterious death that they were investigating, and a really shady past,” Liz Hickox said.
Details became more and more dramatic over the next two days, with Delashmit’s husband messaging that she was locked in the bathroom with the screaming baby at one point and Delashmit reporting that the FBI was planning a sting.
The Hickoxes said Delashmit called on March 3, 2019, to tell them that the stalker was chasing her with a gun at the Highland Walmart, then the phone went dead.
“After about a minute and a half that seemed like four hours, she got in touch with us,” Liz Hickox said. “And she said, ‘They have her.’ And I said, ‘What does that mean?’ (And Sarah said) ‘She’s in custody. I’ve been shot.’ She said, ‘I’m OK.’ She said, ‘There were seven victims, and everyone is fine.’ She said, ‘ I was shot in the knee, and the police don’t know if the bullet grazed off of a shelf. ...’
“It was very detailed, very detailed. ‘I’m in the ambulance. I’m on my way to the hospital. James is going to meet me there.’ And I’m like, ‘Oh my God, I just can’t believe any of this happened.’”
Delashmit even texted a photo of her bruises and stitched wounds.
The Hickoxes knew a seven-victim shooting in Highland would be national news, but when no TV stations seemed to be covering it, they called a friend in law enforcement. He made a few inquiries and reached a stunning conclusion: The couple had been duped.
Brian Hickox quickly took to the internet and discovered through a Google search that Delashmit had surrendered her Oklahoma nursing license in 2014 after a “severe reprimand” by the Oklahoma Board of Nursing. That later prompted her licenses to be suspended in Virginia and Illinois and revoked in Missouri.
A 2015 order by the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation explained the original complaint against Delashmit:
“While working at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Oklahoma University Medical Center, Respondent pretended to be pregnant to the extent of wearing pillows and showing ultrasound photos to coworkers. Respondent further told coworkers that she had prematurely delivered the twins and the twins had died.
“Respondent admitted ... that this was at least the second time she had falsely presented herself as being pregnant.”
Brian Hickox said he found multiple Facebook accounts associated with Delashmit and messaged people in tagged photos, connecting him with other victims. He also realized that she only had 18 friends on the page she was using to communicate with the breast-cancer community, and all were from the couple’s social circle.
“It now occurs to me that the entire Sarah profile is just created around, basically, our life in Florida,” he said.
The Hickoxes later contacted Southwest Airlines and learned that Delashmit was a customer-service representative, not a flight attendant, they said. The airline declined to comment this week.
Scams took ‘mental brain power’
The Hickoxes said Delashmit admitted that she didn’t have a husband or baby daughter but stood by her cancer claim and explained away her dishonesty with another story about growing up with an alcoholic father who abused her.
Whatever the truth, the couple thought anyone who would do what Delashmit did must be suffering from mental-health issues.
They reached out to “Dr. Phil” show producers, asking if Dr. Phil McGraw would be willing to speak with Delashmit and perhaps get her some psychological help. They flew to California to appear on two episodes that were taped in March and broadcast in April of 2019. One was called “Liar, Liar: Sarah Faces Her Accusers.”
“I have a lying addiction,” Delashmit said in an preshow interview. “... I can’t remember the last time I met someone and told them my real truth.”
Delashmit said she concocted her first “big lie” at 25 or 26, partly to make her life seem more exciting at a time when friends were getting married and starting families. But she was only 21 when contacted by Highland police officer Conrad.
Delashmit also spoke of buying wigs, a wheelchair and other props to convince people she was ill or disabled; using information she had gained working at a muscular dystrophy camp as part of her act; pretending to have a husband and kids; and posting photos of her cousin and friends’ children as evidence.
“It took a lot of mental brain power to keep up the charade,” she said.
McGraw noted that Delashmit was smiling when she made that statement, clearly feeling proud of herself. He called it “duping delight.”
Delashmit’s demeanor was more serious and somber on the “Dr. Phil” set in front of a studio audience. She promised to try harder to tell the truth and apologized to the Hickoxes. Liz Hickox fought back tears during much of the show.
“I’m extremely sorry for what I did,” Delashmit said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you guys the way that I did.”
Other “Dr. Phil” guests included Delashmit’s “caretaker” from a camp for children and adults with disabilities, now known to be Camp Summit in Texas. The woman was identified only as “Bethany.”
According to the federal charges, Delashmit falsely claimed to have muscular dystrophy and spinal muscular atrophy to attend Camp Summit in 2015 and 2016 and receive $2,500 in financial assistance.
“While at the camp, Delashmit confined herself to a wheelchair and pretended to need assistance with most daily activities, such as getting dressed and bathing, despite being fully able to walk and care for herself,” stated a news release from U.S. Attorney Stephen D. Weinhoeft’s office in Fairview Heights.
“Delashmit admitted in court that her fraud prevented deserving people with real disabilities from attending the camp and receiving financial assistance.”
Sentencing set for this month
The “Dr. Phil” broadcast turned out to be a pivotal part of the Hickoxes’ research on Delashmit because it prompted other victims, such as Smith of the spinal muscular atrophy group, to reach out and share their experiences.
Some victims feel police didn’t do enough to stop Delashmit in her early days of scamming, while Smith partly blames herself.
“I wish that we had not fallen for the sob story about, ‘She’s a lonely teenager who doesn’t really know any better,’’’ Smith said. “That’s how she’s been able to get away with it for as long as she has. I don’t know how many other groups she duped, but if we hadn’t fallen for that, we might have been able to do something more substantial (to stop her).”
Delashmit was indicted March 3, 2020, on eight federal charges, including four counts of wire fraud, one of mail fraud and three of aggravated identity theft.
She pleaded not guilty at her June 22 arraignment, then guilty to the five counts of fraud at a change of plea hearing on Oct. 13, when she verified that she held a bachelor’s degree and could read and write. Prosecutors agreed to drop the three counts of aggravated identify theft as part of her plea agreement.
Beyond Delashmit’s actions involving the Young Survival Coalition and Camp Summit, she admitted to using someone else’s credit card without permission to buy a $4,500 triathlon bike on eBay and keeping it after the charge was removed.
“The investigation was conducted by the Highland Police Department, the FBI, and the United States Postal Inspection Service,” according to the U.S. attorney’s news release.
U.S. District Court Judge Staci Yandle set Delashmit’s sentencing date for Jan. 19. Each of the five counts could result in a sentence of up to 20 years in prison and up to a $250,000 fine.
Assistant U.S. Attorney Christopher Hoell told Yangle on Oct. 13 that prosecutors, in consultation with Delashmit’s attorney, were recommending a sentence of eight months in prison under the plea agreement. The judge isn’t required to follow that recommendation.
U.S. attorney’s office spokesman Nathan Stump declined to comment when asked if Delashmit could face more charges in the future for other scams.
Speaking in general terms, he said federal prosecutors typically don’t seek indictments until investigations are complete and final decisions have been made on which charges can be successfully prosecuted with available evidence.
“As long as facts are known at the time they’re charged, they’re either going to include them in the indictment or they’re not,” Stump said. “They’re not going to have multiple cases in the same district against the same person in serial fashion.”
Prosecutors can, however, provide judges with information gathered in investigations that is not directly tied to charges, and that information can be considered in sentencing. Legal action also could be taken in other jurisdictions or the same jurisdiction if new evidence surfaces related to other crimes.
Closure by conference call
The Hickoxes have spent the past two years going from sympathetic to shocked to confused to distraught to embarrassed to angry about what Delashmit did to them and others.
Beyond the weekend visits and bogus Walmart shooting, Liz Hickox thinks about her friend’s wedding-dress fitting, which she missed to provide Delashmit with a listening ear after doctors allegedly found two lesions on her brain; and other “emergencies” that pulled Liz Hickox away from family gatherings or dinners with her husband.
The couple said they’re speaking publicly about Delashmit’s case to keep her from victimizing more people and organizations that are trying to make a positive difference in the world by helping those with disabilities.
“I know there are other victims out there, and I can’t let this go on,” Liz Hickox said. “We can’t have more charities defrauded, more friends hurt.”
Smith and the Hickoxes had planned to attend Delashmit’s trial in East St. Louis and face her in person, but they had to settle for listening to hearings by conference call due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
They don’t believe Delashmit is capable of remorse or rehabilitation, maintaining that she went back to her old habits in 2019, after the “Dr. Phil” staff arranged for her to get free addiction treatment at a California facility.
Smith said the U.S. prison system isn’t really built to deal with people like Delashmit.
“I either want her locked up someplace where she can’t do this to anyone else again, or I want her put someplace where she is really rehabilitated and she is made to understand the gravity of what she’s done and won’t go out in the world and do it again and can become a productive member of society,” Smith said.
“If her brain can’t be tweaked to where she understands the gravity of what she has done, she needs to be put someplace for the criminally insane so she can’t hurt anyone else.”
This story was originally published January 8, 2021 at 5:00 AM.
