Men, it’s that time of year again. BND etiquette expert offers vital Valentine’s Day tips
Q. I have sort of a new girlfriend. We’ve been dating for a couple of months. So what’s wrong with not telling my her until the night before where I am taking her for Valentine’s Day dinner? I would like to make it a surprise but she’s been hounding me for weeks to tell her.
A. Well, it is unladylike for her to be “hounding you” regarding where you are taking her to dinner. But it is also a natural “girl thing” to want to know because she is going to want to wear not only the perfect dress and shoes and jewelry, but she will also probably want to have her nails done and get a special “hairdo.” This perfect look cannot be completed in just one night. It could mean a “major shopping day” — and I mean “major.” Her choices will indeed depend on the restaurant you select. It will make a huge difference to her if the restaurant you choose is very formal because she will then want to wear a cocktail dress. If you select a steak house type of restaurant, she will know a cocktail dress will not be appropriate — big difference when trying to select something from your closet or go shopping. Obviously, you want to please her and you will be pleased when she looks like a “million bucks”; therefore, I am advising you to tell her early enough for her to enjoy all the exciting preparation time.
Should we offer an advance?
Q. My high school junior son has sort of a serious girlfriend who goes to the same school as he does. He has asked her out for dinner on Valentine’s Day. He has made a reservation at a nice restaurant. So he’s asking us parents if he can have an advance on his allowance in order for him to get roses to give her when he picks her up, a card and a box of candy. It does sounds to us like it will be a rather big advance on his allowance. Since roses are a lot higher for Valentine’s Day, and since she is always talking about being on a diet — she does not need to be on a diet — we feel an advance for what will probably be an expensive dinner and card should be enough (he’s almost up to the national debt amount already on his allowance). Your opinion please.
A. I agree with your conclusion. At his age, taking her to dinner and giving her a card should be enough.
Dinner payment inquiry
Q. If a girl’s boyfriend has been out of a job for a couple of months, should she be the one to pay for a Valentine’s Day dinner out or should she prepare a nice dinner for him at her apartment? While I would like to get all dressed up and eat dinner at a nice restaurant with candles at the table and all that, I think it would embarrass him if I offer to take him (or us) to dinner. What is appropriate?
A. I vote for the nice dinner at your apartment. You can still get dressed up, dim the lights and add candles to your table.
Candy question
Q. Should a 10-year-old be buying a large — and I mean we are taking really large — box of candy, for his same-age little girlfriend at school? And give it to her at school — that’s the plan.
A. I think NOT! I guess I thought children his age still exchanged Valentine’s Day cards with everyone in their class — the just-fun, comical kind of cards which come with like thirty in a package. As I recall, some of those say things like, “Will you be my Valentine?” That’s my recommendation at this point in his life.