Gifts for teachers, giving rides, buying supplies and other back-to-school etiquette tips
Q. Not sure how to handle this situation because I am a rather shy person. My son’s godmother told him at his birthday party this spring that as part of his birthday present, she wanted to take him shopping for his school clothes and school supplies. A lot of the stores already have all the school supplies on sale and end-of-summer clothes are on sale, too. She calls a couple times a month but hasn’t brought up the subject in her calls since then. I don’t want to be pushy. Would it be proper for me to call her and tell her about the school supply sales and ask her when she would like to take him shopping? Or wait until she calls to ask? He’s going into the third grade and I have the list of what he is supposed to have which is very specific, so if she can’t find some of the things, I will need to go get them later so I am hoping she will take him soon.
A. How nice of your son’s godmother to offer this as part of your son’s birthday. If she does not have children in school, she may not be familiar with school dates, etc.; therefore, I feel you should be very comfortable in calling her to tell her about the sales and set up a date which is convenient for her and your son. I would recommend you make a copy of the list for her of what he is supposed to have and if she doesn’t find it all, there should still be time for you and your son to have another shopping trip.
Q. We have just moved into another school district. Where we lived before, it was not a common practice to give a grade school teacher a gift at the beginning of the year. I haven’t met any parents in our neighborhood who have younger children. Most of them have children in college, so grade school was a long time ago for them. Should we or shouldn’t we and if we should, what should we give?
A. I do not feel it is appropriate to give grade school teachers a gift at the beginning of the year. Why? I feel it makes the teacher uncomfortable perhaps because it may be meant to be a “bribe” for special treatment of the student or the teacher may just feel it is. A gift at the end of the year, maybe, but by that time you will know more about the general practice at this new school.
Q. A new neighbor, who is a single mother with a very weird work schedule, has asked me to take her child to school every day when I take mine. I told her I would be glad to do so. She said she would pay me and I told her I was just happy to do it and did not want any money. She said she would talk to me about it again later when it is closer to school starting. Am I wrong about this? Don’t tell me there are people who would take money to do this when it is not out of their way?
A. No, you are not wrong about this. You are a good person and you are doing the right thing. In my mind, anyone who charges to do this kind of good deed, is not a good person, and not the kind of person I would even want to have around my child.