I’m glad to donate to charities, but how many calendars does one person need?

When I was much younger it used to be fun to get mail, until bills started coming.

When you are young and just getting a start in adult life even bills can be interesting. When we married back in 1976, the Bicentennial year, we got a phone bill for $17.76. Remember, this was 47 years ago, but back then, to newlyweds, that seemed like a large bill.

When I paid it I suggested that it should be worth something to end up with that total in that year. The phone company disagreed.

Now most bills are online and I just know when the money comes out of a bank account.

These days my mail most likely will be advertisements, life insurance proposals and charity appeals. Once you donate to a charity you become their lifelong friend and they pass your information to other charities which also want to be friends. It’s like an out of control chain letter.

I guess that is why I have gotten seven calendars from six charities so far this year. One place sent me two of the same calendar. I won’t even use one of them.

How many calendars can one person use? I hang one in the kitchen, but it usually is one I buy with funny cat photos. I also get the Belleville Historical Society’s annual fundraiser calendar, which I always eagerly anticipate. It provides me not only with entertainment but also a reason to write a column about it each year.

I usually donate the charity calendars to a resale shop. So they do help charities, just not the ones who were expecting it. Don’t send me something I didn’t request and expect me to feel guilty and pay for it. Calendars, dream catchers and greeting cards don’t prompt me to send money.

I just got an offer from The New Yorker, a magazine, which included four postcards, each with a cartoon. Even though I am exactly the kind of professional their magazine is for (that is the ad talking), I’m not buying. Funny cartoons, but I can’t remember the last time I used a postcard.

They also want to send me a tote bag for subscribing. No thanks. Tote bags are something else I send to resale shops. They seem to breed in the dark closet, so I always have more no matter how many I give away.

I also am a popular target for retirement home offers, funeral solutions and senior cruises, none of which I plan to patronize soon.