Have proper manners deteriorated in the modern world? How can we bring back civility?

Over the Christmas holidays, I found myself in a lot of social gatherings in which many of the attendees spoke to me about how what constitutes “proper manners” in today’s world because most of them felt there was a significant deterioration.

I asked if I could relay some of their comments in my end-of-year column to encourage everyone to take note of their comments and help make a positive change for the better in 2024 in proper etiquette and good manners.

They quickly agreed; therefore, here are a few of those comments.

In the scheme of things going on in our world, they are not “earthshaking,” but sometimes it is the little irritations in life, which when corrected, lead to a better and more cordial society.

Comment: I wish some parents would teach their children how to behave in public, especially in restaurants. We were never allowed to get up and run around the table(s) nor scream at a pitch that could break the sound barrier. How some parents can appear to be oblivious to this misbehavior is unbelievable.

My Response: I totally agree. This is a widespread problem that can certainly ruin one’s meal.

Trying to mention the subject to the parents is not a good option, however, because it may elevate the problem in another serious direction.

Notifying the manager may or may not help the situation either, but it may make you feel better because as least your tried. Whether the manager has the option of discussing the issue with the parents or the adults with the children may vary depending on the restaurant’s policies.

However, asking your waiter or the manager to seat you at another table away from the unruly children is an option and one which may provide a solution to save your dining experience.

It is also a discreet course of action which may be noticed by the parents or adults and they may then, on their own, decide the necessary steps to control their children.

Comment: Waiters who serve your beverage by holding the glass at the top with their fingers and placing it in front of you.

My response: This is totally inappropriate and unsanitary. I have had this happen to me and I often choose to quietly tell the waiter to please bring me another beverage and why, and how to properly carry it.

If I do not feel that is an option, I make certain I ask for the manager when leaving to quietly inform him or her of the corrective action required.

Comment: I wish dog owners would not allow their dog to poop in my yard without picking it up and disposing of it properly.

My response: I totally agree. This is not only rude and inconsiderate, but it is also disgusting.

One option to possibly consider is to have some doggy bags handy, and if you see a pet owner who doesn’t appear to be taking care of their dog’s poop, you can offer them a doggy bag and politely say, “Sometimes I forget to bring a bag with me, too.”

Comment: I wish drivers would not almost climb up my rear bumper. It scares me because if I had to suddenly stop, well, it would not be a great situation. I try to move over when this happens, but sometimes there is too much traffic and I can’t.

My response: I hate this also and it scares me, too.

I lightly tap, tap, tap, on my brakes, which hopefully gives them the message that I feel they are being unsafe by following me too closely and need to back off.

Comment: I wish people who have take a cell phone call, would excuse themselves and take the call somewhere else rather than right in front of me. I do not want to overhear any one else’s phone call.

My response: Yes, so rude and inconsiderate. If possible, move away from this person or turn and put your back to them until their conversation is over.

Comment: My husband wishes all men would remove their hats when entering a restaurant.

My response: Yes, I too wish some of these basic rules of civility would return.