Whether you know the term or not, ‘ghosting’ is absolutely inappropriate. Here’s why

Q. I guess I am way behind the latest in what’s happening in our society these days. I had to have my younger sister explain to me what happened to me. I had dated this really nice guy a couple of times. We went to dinner first and then the next time, dinner and a movie. I thought we had a pretty good time. He said he would be in touch, but I never heard anything at all from him.

I don’t believe in calling men like the younger generation does these days, but I finally did and left a casual message, like, “Just thought I would give you a call and say hello and how are you – haven’t heard from you in awhile – hope you are OK.”

I heard absolutely nothing back.

When I told my younger sister about it, she told me I had been “ghosted.” I thought I misunderstood her so she repeated it to me. When I said I had no idea what she was talking about, she said, it can also be called “simmering” or “icing.”

Well, I hadn’t heard those words either. So, she said it just means that the guy wasn’t interested in me anymore so he didn’t call me again.

I think that is a creep’s way out, and it is very rude and immature for a guy not to have enough nerve to tell you he doesn’t think there is a connection rather than just not call you again. Am I totally ancient? Where did this word “ghosting” come from? Is this something that is considered proper in today’s world? I would appreciate your opinion.

A. “Ghosting” is a relatively new word to most of us. You are not alone in that respect. It actually became a colloquial term sometime around the early 2000s when individuals would just act like a “ghost,” I guess, and disappear in a relationship or not stay in touch with the person, and think it was OK because they just weren’t interested in continuing the relationship.

Is it proper behavior? Absolutely not.

Does it hurt the ghostee’s feelings? I would think so; however, it appears there are those who just move on without another thought about it, as if it is a new approved form of behavior.

Should you be able to ask the ghoster why he or she ghosted you? You could, but why go back for more ghosting because if the ghoster did it once, it is likely to happen again. Then ask yourself if you would want to spend any time with this ghoster anyway.

The important thing to understand is that there is nothing wrong with you because someone ghosted you. It occurred because this ghoster is likely immature and basically ill-mannered in many other aspects as well.