Borrowed prom dress comes back with a tear. Who should pay for it?
Q. I let my girlfriend borrow one of my prom dresses last fall for Homecoming at her school, and she didn’t return it. I had almost forgotten about it until I was starting to think about what I was going to wear to this year’s prom at a different school because I have already been asked by a new guy. This dress was a fabulous dress and it wasn’t cheap.
Well, when I called her and asked her to bring it back so I could try it on, I could tell she was trying to come up with excuses to delay bringing it back. She finally brought it back and it has a big rip in it. She apologized and told some weird story about how it got caught on something.
It’s really not fixable, although I think she could have tried taking it somewhere to get it fixed. I asked her what she thought was the right or proper thing to do about it – like pay for it or pay me to get a new dress this year or at least give me half of what I paid for it.
She said she thought since I had already worn it, she shouldn’t have to give me anything. I disagreed with her and she said she thought I was being unreasonable and “making a big deal out of nothing.” So I asked her to leave and have basically scratched her off my list as a friend and blocked her from all my social media and my phone.
A mutual friend of ours has reached out to me asking me to forgive her and just let it go. I paid for the dress myself from a summer project I did for my grandparents so I am not even telling my mom about it. It’s the principle of the matter for me because of her attitude. What’s your opinion of what is right here?
A. It is an unfortunate situation. You were being a nice friend, and even though your dress may have accidentally been ripped, your girlfriend should hold herself accountable and responsible.
Without your having to ask her what she thought was the “right” or “proper” thing to do, your girlfriend should have offered to pay you for the dress. Whether you had worn it once or twice or three times was not relative. Yes, she apologized, but that was and is not enough.
I would not consider her a friend because friends do not treat their friends like she decided to treat you. Therefore, blocking her from your life is certainly your choice.
Q. My mom has been in the hospital for over a week, and one of her neighbors has been kind enough to babysit her dog for her.
I flew in to see my mom but could not stay with her. My brother drove in several times to be with her, but he couldn’t take the dog because his wife has allergies. So, I want to do something nice for this kind neighbor lady who babysat my mom’s dog.
I asked my mom what she would suggest, and she said she thought her neighbor might not accept anything at all because my mom had done some nice things for her in the past and would not think about being given a gift or paid for it because “that’s what good neighbors do.”
I told my mom I still wanted to do something, like send her flowers, but Mom finally said she thought I should give her a gift card to a local grocery store rather than flowers, She didn’t elaborate, so I am thinking with the prices of groceries and this lady being retired, maybe that would be a better idea.
But would that be proper though? Or would it possibly embarrass her if she thought I thought she needed money for groceries? So, my third choice is to tell her I would like to take her to lunch with me and my mom the next time I am in town. What’s best?
A. Letting your mom’s neighbor lady know how much you appreciate her taking care of your mom’s dog is certainly the proper thing to do. Absolutely. Flowers are always nice, of course, and appreciated. I agree that perhaps a gift card to the local grocery store may be too revealing and could possibly embarrass her. I, therefore, vote for your third choice of telling her you would like to take her to lunch with you and your mom the next time you are in town. That would be a treat for all of you.