What’s proper etiquette on social media? If I get an e-vite, do I have to respond?

Q. When someone sends you an e-vite on social media for an event you are sponsoring or organizing, shouldn’t the recipient respond one way or the other? Isn’t it the same as sending a written invitation in the mail?

A. Yes, I definitely feel it is appropriate to provide a timely response within 24 hours. If it is possible to thank the person for the invitation and letting them know if you are coming or not, do so. If it requires just a click of “yes” or “no,” then do that. Now, here are some real-life situational circumstances which occur (but are not excuses) that preclude a timely response:

▪ Some people on social media have a lot of followers because it is a combination of a business and social page; therefore, some of their followers they know very well and some they do not. They receive bunches of notifications of events, evites or invitations every single day and it is just mind boggling sometimes to try to keep up with it all. For example:

▪ How and when you respond may be a matter of how the evite or invitation is received. Is it an evite received by text or via a message from a Facebook page or an email? It may be one of not having the time to check your calendar or check with your significant other.

▪ It could be, you just do not have the ability to access your social media every couple of minutes, because guess what, you actually have to do other things in your day, like a real job.

▪ They may actually not remember to go back and provide a response.

▪ They may not be able to remember (like me): “How did I get that invitation?” I saw it somewhere! They may not have a method for keeping track of evites or texts. Unconventional as it may be, I snap a photo to have to refer to later or file the invitation email into a folder (which I am not good at doing), or I may actually print it and place it in my calendar folder to be able to look at when I have a quiet moment (that’s a sign of not being a real “techy” or the fact that I still like to have a piece of paper, but it makes it easier for me to be sure to respond.)

▪ Then there is the rush of everyday life, which takes over. And ... the embarrassment and/or frustration of suddenly realizing the date has passed or the RSVP date has passed or the event is “sold out,” and you have missed attending. And guess what, if it was a personal invitation like to a birthday party or retirement event, you should immediately send a handwritten note, apologizing for not responding, or attending, and express your best wishes, etc.

Q. Is it considered proper etiquette to send texts and emails to people about business on weekends and holidays? I, for one, need a break sometimes from all that and don’t feel like I should have to constantly check to see if I have to respond to something. I hate waking up on Monday morning and checking my emails or social media and realize I am “way behind the power curve.” It makes Monday an even worse day than it is. Maybe there should be an etiquette rule that says, “Take a break on weekends and holidays.” Is it proper for me to tell everyone I do not respond to social media on weekends and holidays?

A. I totally agree with you and there is a basic commonsense etiquette rule that weekends and holidays are for taking a break; however, along with the availability of having most businesses open and technology of all types available 24 hours a day, every day, comes the lack of the freedom of being able to do just that. It is perfectly proper for you to place an “Out of the Office” notice on your email and place a posting on your Facebook and Instagram pages that says you will be unavailable from this date to this date. You can also verbally express your wishes to your close friends and family.

Q. What has happened to people making phone calls instead of sending texts? Even my own family continues to send me texts instead of picking up the phone and calling me? I like hearing their voices and I hate typing on my little iPhone. When they ask me what I want for my birthday, I am going to tell them to please call me if at all possible instead of texting me. Dare I?

A. Yes, you do that! I totally agree!