Old friends, new conversations: The art of staying connected
I was exchanging texts with old work friends about our next chapters in life.
A half dozen men and women from throughout the country. All in the same age bracket. A few of us are working. Others are retired. Life separates but our past unites us. Group texts keep us together, about 20 minutes every week.
We share stories about work, golf, fishing, travel, boats, RVs, and family. Good and bad. We make one another laugh, mostly.
We make fun of ourselves about getting old – 9 p.m. is our new midnight; weak tee shots; and this fascination with pickle ball among retirees.
“Pickle ball. It really needs a different name,” was one comment.
“I’m not old enough to play pickleball, am I?” was another text.
And so it goes, for a few minutes, until we get tired of the banter.
One text group, a few weeks ago, I shared my goals for life someday. “More golf, Grandpa and bike rides. And one last thing: Peace of mind is what we search for … I hope to find it.”
Big mistake for getting serious in a text group.
“Piece of pie?” was a comment.
“I like chocolate pie,” was a response.
“Piece of my what?” someone asked.
“Mind. You know. That thing you lost a few years ago.”
“I lost my keys a few years ago …”
“Peace of Mind. Wasn’t that an old Cat Stevens song? Maybe it was Richie Havens or Joni Mitchell.”
“That Joni Mitchell was hot ….”
“Maybe it was John Denver.”
“Far out, man.”
Short attention spans.
Bad spelling.
I think they’re kidding, but I’m not always sure.
The beauty of group texts by cell phone is you can reach a group of people and not have to talk to anyone on the phone.
I am on six text groups. Golf groups. Bike riders. High school friends. Work associates. There are a couple of groups that I have no idea how or why I’m included but I don’t know how to get out.
I’ve come up with a dozen tips to make text groups more enjoyable than annoying:
Limit the emojis, please. You reach an age when smiling faces are not necessary.
Keep it to two or three text comments per group post. No reason to be a chatter box.
This is a tough one, but keep it focused. Question: I have golf tee times set up. Who’s in? The right answer: I’m in. Thanks. Wrong answer: I had fried cod and applesauce for dinner. Yum!
Never write, “yum!” This is a text group of adults, not your grandkids.
Don’t get political. It starts fights, breaks up family and friendships.
If you don’t recognize a phone number, it’s OK to ask. Poor guy probably feels trapped. He was included on the string for that one golf outing and now he can’t escape.
Avoid photos and cartoons. Save them for Facebook. No surgery photos, either. We have our own.
Sometimes you have to say it’s a joke. Go ahead, use the over-used LOL acronym. (laugh out loud!)
There is a 24-hour time limit to respond to texts. Don’t wait two days to write, “I couldn’t make that concert Friday night.”
Don’t be a stalker. Contribute a reply, occasionally.
Check your spelling, punctuation. Try, at least.
Put your phone down. Texting is fun. But like most good things in life, it’s best when done in moderation.
