Cheap Seats

MLB outs Colby Rasmus as a doofus

I was on the trade Colby Rasmus bandwagon before there was a trade Colby Rasmus bandwagon. And a video on the MLB web site pretty much sums up all the reasons why.

A feature on him that was posted earlier this week is supposed to let us see what makes Raz tick. And, it is undeniably obvious that it ain't much.

Rasmus is a world class dope. Don't take my word for it click here to see the video for yourself. You have to skip past the Gaby Sanchez video. But it's well worth it to see Rasmus mention how he likes to play chess and Words with Friends on his iPhone. Seriously? You are the master of the chess board but you couldn't figure out that whole business about hitting the cutoff man?

The former Cardinals outfielder credits his father as one of the biggest influences in his life, as if none of us knew that. And he says he wouldn't be where he is today without him. I assume by this he means Toronto where the Birds dumped him after they got tired of his constant bull.

Rasmus, sporting an eighth grade mustache and what appears to be wet hair, waxes on about how when he was in Class AA in 2008 he bought a $91,000 BMW M5 by just writing a check and driving it off the lot, unlike any of us suckers who have to take out a loan to buy a vehicle. Watching him talk about the car is like seeing Nuke LaLoosh come to life. Up to an including the part where he says that he had to talk his daddy into letting him spend his own money.

If you're still in the camp of folks that thing trading a guy like Rasmus was a mistake because of computer formulas and upside, I encourage you to take a gander. It's stunning how dopey this guy is. And I wouldn't trade Jon Jay for nine Colbys.