Properly thanking someone for a good deed from shoveling snow to buying groceries
Q. We are relatively new to the neighborhood and to our wonderful surprise, our neighbor boy came over the other day and shoveled our driveway and sidewalk before we ever got up out of bed. He’s only about 13 I think. We called to thank him and his mother said he was out shoveling another driveway in another block. We told her we wanted to pay him, but she said it wasn’t necessary at all — that he was happy to do it for us. We couldn’t really convince her we wanted to pay him something. After hanging up, my husband and I talked about how we know our grandchildren always appreciate getting paid when they do nice things for their neighbors even though we know they would never ask. We decided we would get him a thank you card as soon as we can get out to a store, and put some money inside or a gift card. When my daughter called that night to check on us, we told her all about it and she thought maybe we should just get a card for this nice young man rather than give him anything at all since his mother said he didn’t want anything. We would like your advice, please, on what we should do or not do.
A. Your neighbors are very nice people and they are obviously raising their son to be very thoughtful and kind. Because they are so nice, they would naturally not ask for anything in return for their son’s good deed, nor would he. I agree with you that a thank you card or note to him is definitely appropriate. I also agree with you that adding some cash inside would be very nice and appropriate as well. I recommend cash because selecting a gift card for a teenager is difficult unless you specifically know what type card to get.
Q. My granddaughter has been getting my groceries now for several weeks because of all the snow and the cold weather. She is such a dear girl. She says she does not want anything for doing this for me but I want to do something nice for her. I’ve tried handing her cash but she won’t take it. Her birthday is coming up in March so I could wait until then and make it an extra special gift or I could actually mail a thank you card in the meantime with a gift card inside. What do you think is my best option?
A. You definitely have a very nice and loving granddaughter. Any type of thank you is best when done shortly after the good deed; therefore, I would send a thank you card or note with a gift card inside now rather than wait until her birthday in March.