Tips for handling post-funeral visit, tipping lawn service & COVID vaccine question
Q. I was out of town when a close friend’s father passed away and did not get back until after the funeral. I had flowers sent to the funeral home for the private service, but now that I am back home, I want to go see her to pay my respects. Can I take another small bouquet of flowers or is that too much?
A. A “small” bouquet of flowers would be very nice, but rather than popping in, call first and set up a date and “time window” for your visit.
Tip suggestions for lawn service workers
Q. My mom, who lives in another state, is always telling me about what a great lawn service she has. For example, they are always very conscientious about moving the outdoor furniture in the backyard rather than mowing around it. Then they return it to the same spots after they are finished. I would like to give them a tip. I don’t trust putting cash inside a thank you card and mailing it to the company because I’m not sure it would go to the actual men who cut the yard. I will be home for Mother’s Day so I could leave a card with cash inside with my mom and she could give it to them, but I don’t want to upstage her. I could write a check and send a thank you to the company and be specific about asking them to cash it and give it to the men who cut her yard and then have her tell them I sent a check to their boss for them. What would you suggest?
A. How very thoughtful you are. I suggest you discuss your idea with your mom and then leave a thank you card with her when you are home for Mother’s Day. Write a note inside, thanking these men and telling them how much you appreciate the great job they do for your mom. Include cash which can easily be split. For example, if you want to give a tip of $25 to each and there are four of them, then enclose four $20’s and four five’s, rather than a hundred dollar bill and a twenty. Paper clip into four. Equally as important is if you would take the time to send a note to the lawn company telling their boss what a great crew they have cutting your mom’s yard.
COVID vaccination question
Q. I’ve been invited to an afternoon event with a cousin of mine and some other ladies. Can I ask the hostess before I agree to come, who the other guests are and have they had their vaccination shots — both of them? Or is that rude?
A. In the current situation it would not be considered rude of you to ask this question. The manner in which you ask the question is important, however. For example, I suggest you lead into the subject by telling her you have had both of your vaccination shots and how important you feel it is to avoid close contact with those who have not yet been vaccinated or who may choose not to be vaccinated. The hostess will probably explain to you the precautions she is taking to keep her guests safe. Be prepared to respond after the information is provided to you. For example, if the response from the hostess is this: “Out of the eight on my guest list, two have not had their first vaccination; two have had their first; and the rest have had both shots,” are you going to decline the invitation? Or if she provides a basic statement that she is taking every precaution to keep her guests safe, will that be enough for you?